BPDFamily.com

Hello. The last three years were so unexpected and have been a nightmare. My daughter always seemed to be happy. She was an accomplished athlete and excelled in the performing arts. She attended a very competitive college graduating with highest honors. During her senior year, she interviewed with 4 companies and was offered jobs from all four. She married her college sweetheart at age 27, purchased a home and was promoted in her job. We thought all was well and were happy for her.

Her childhood relationships seemed "normal", the typical middle school stuff but nothing out of the ordinary. She seldom drank in high school, college or after. She did not self harm, though several of her friends did. I did notice that she could be impulsive and when she was employed, she couldnt buy "nice" things fast enough. I felt like she was looking for something that was somehow missing in her life.

Shortly after she married, everything changed. The stresses in her job were great and she started having severe panic attacks. She was no longer able to work. There were several anger outbursts and she became extremely depressed. She spent months in bed and expressed hatred for herself. She texted people constantly and was combative. After two years of this, her husband separated from her and she came home. She is now divorced.

She recently started another relationship. It is very stormy with several intense anger outbursts. It seems more like rage than anger and it is scary. This relationship is clearly unhealthy but she has no friends other than this person. She is out with this person now and I feel so anxious.

She has received therapy weekly for over two years. Has several diagnoses. She is not very forthcoming about her feelings/condition and often projects that she is happy. She has been basically non-functional for three years and has not worked. Last week her therapist suggested that she was concerned about her possibly having BPD. I have just begun reading about BPD and I see many traits. It is all so overwhelming.

Is it possible to show BPD for the first time in adulthood? To have functioned well and now be unable to function at all? She seldom talks to me. When I ask questions, she changes the subject. She stays in her bed most of the day. I get so depressed and her anger outbursts can be frightening.

I just wanted to say hello and tell our story. I am glad I found this site. I feel so confused and overwhelmed right now. Will she ever have a good life again? My husband and I are really rocked by this and just did not see it coming. It makes us so sad to see where she is at now.

Thank you and thanks for this site.

Hello melancholy mom and welcome to bpdfamily 

I'm sorry what's brought you here and glad you found us. It is overwhelming as you say   here members understand what you are going through, similar situations to yours, you are not alone. Diagnosis can happen anytime, my 28DD was diagnosed at 27.

It's positive your daughters been in therapy, has your daughter agreed to have an assessment? I found when we knew what we were dealing with then positive change can happen.   

WDx

Hi Meloncholy mom,

I wanted to join wendydarling and welcome you to the BPD Family 

I'm on this site because of my SO's (significant Other's) uBPDxw (undiagnosed BPD ex-wife) so I'm coming at this from a different angle, but I wanted to encourage you to keep posting and reading.  There is a lot of information on these boards that can help in better understanding what BPD is, tools for improved communication, tools to understand some of the dynamics that go on (it was so surprising to me how much all of us here have in common) and there is an incredible amount of support and understanding from everyone here... .we all get it.

When I first discovered BPD I went to the library and read everything I could, two books I particularly liked are listed below in case you want to learn more.

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder, by: Paul Mason Randi Kreger

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change by: Valerie Porr, M.A.

Know you are not alone 

Take Care,
Panda39