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For those of you whose relationship ended what were the signs it was over or that you were at the end of it?

She withdrew emotionally and sexually.

When we sat down and I said that I felt we were drifting apart and we both listed a couple things we would need from the other person to help strengthen our bond. After 2 weeks of that I noticed that none of her behaviors were changing and I was actively trying to do things different.

The last "real night" of our relationship I asked her to walk the dog before bed. A 10 second thing. I walked the dog 95% of the time I was ever there. She said she'd do it tomorrow. I felt bad for the dog so I did it. Then we agreed to watch a movie like we agreed as a way to start spending more time actually together and she went to bed 10 minutes into it. I then got sad and told her how I'd look at pictures of my grandparents and see how they were really in love. She was supportive of that and held me and asked if I wanted to make love. Maybe it was my own fault that I didn't appreciate her actually trying after I communicated but it felt so forced. Almost like a pity thing. Like she was doing it for me and had no interest in it at all. I don't know. Next day I left and that started all of the chaos that ensued. I realized months before that she didn't love me as she used to, and that I had become her caretaker and was expected to do what she wanted. That's when I knew for sure that she would never love me like I loved her.

Essentially I found that his behavior towards me had escalated until he was critical of me pretty much all the time and verbally abusive most of the time. The "honeymoon" times between the conflicts decreased until they had essentially disappeared. I remember posting about some conflict or other and someone said something along the lines of "so let me get this straight, on a good day he's only overtly critical not outright abusive? What's in this for you?" (Not word for word, but that was the idea in a nutshell, was that you flourdust?)

At any rate, it was only a couple days later that he put his fist through a wall and I knew it was time to GO.

Still wasn't easy though... .

There was a bit of emotional distance and weariness on my part. The relationship was effectively over months before due to a extreme rage episode but I didn't break it off right then.  There were more episodes the following months and it just pushed me farther away. The last argument was over something stupid (I broke a eggshell and triggered her) and something broke inside of me. I had finally had enough and I walked away.

One sign was the feeling that, if not for our marriage, I wouldn't choose to hang out with her.

LJ