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Title: New Here - I have a BPD ex-husband and co-parent Post by: Minerva1980 on July 24, 2017, 05:06:23 PM Hi,
I'm recently divorced, with two young kids and an ex-husband who shows clear signs of Borderline Personality Disorder. He was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder about 15 years ago, before we met, but has since gone off his medication and dismissed the idea that he has any mental illness. He can be a very loving and responsible dad, so we agreed to share custody 50/50. However, his illness makes him unreliable and unpredictable, which makes co-parenting very difficult--even maddening at times. The biggest issue for me is that he was emotionally abusive in our relationship and I'm afraid he will do the same to our kids. I joined bpdfamily to hear from other people who have had similar experiences, both for my own emotional benefit and to get tips and insight on how to deal with my ex and raise my kids as well as possible. Title: Re: New Here - I have a BPD ex-husband and co-parent Post by: Turkish on July 31, 2017, 01:20:44 AM Hi Minerva1980,
Is there a legal custody order filed? How old are your kids and how are they handling things this far? Hard to say at this point without more of your story, but parallel parenting is an option: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=239558 If you choose to go this route, it's best not to communicate that you are doing so. If there is a custody order, of course follow that, but there is leeway to do what you want to do on your own time, usually. It's hard to navigate this is the beginning though. I hope we can be of support. Turkish Title: Re: New Here - I have a BPD ex-husband and co-parent Post by: momtara on August 30, 2017, 07:14:33 PM I'm in a similar situation - mentally ill ex-husband, young kids. He worries me sometimes. I don't post much these days but feel free to message me if you need help or support.
Title: Re: New Here - I have a BPD ex-husband and co-parent Post by: livednlearned on August 30, 2017, 08:06:55 PM The biggest issue for me is that he was emotionally abusive in our relationship and I'm afraid he will do the same to our kids. How old are the kids? Do they have a good relationship with their dad? There are relationship skills that you can use to support them, and ones you can teach them. It's helpful that there is a diagnosis, so you can be a little more straightforward with them -- to make sure they understand the behaviors belong to their dad, and are not their fault. Is your ex spending 50 percent of the time with the kids? My ex (also bipolar/BPD) fought for equal time and then gave it away at the drop of a hat. |