BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: rainbowconxn on September 17, 2017, 08:26:45 PM



Title: First post
Post by: rainbowconxn on September 17, 2017, 08:26:45 PM
Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm from the Pacific Northwest. 3 years ago my ex wife and I split after almost 20 years together. She has displayed traits of a BP but has never been formally diagnosed.

I'm just now getting into a new relationship, and suddenly I'm haunted by my past traumas. I've started to fear that my BP ex may somehow find this person and start harassing them the same way she has my friends, business associates, and our children.

I've started seeing my counselor again, that is, I've made an appointment. Just coming here for support.


Title: Re: First post
Post by: Harley Quinn on September 18, 2017, 05:25:40 PM
Welcome rainbowconxn  !

It's great to meet you and I'm pleased you decided to post about this.  By the sounds of it, you've had some pretty challenging experiences with your exw since the split.  Did you have a long and difficult divorce?  I'm guessing that some of the behaviour might have centered around the time of the split, but do fill us in.  Are you in contact with your exw?  Possibly regards contact with the children? 

It must be concerning to you to enter into a new r/s if your ex has been destructive in the past with others in your life, especially those closest to you.  How do you feel about your new partner at this stage?  I can imagine that you are feeling protective of this person.  It's good that you're reaching out for support, and I hope that your counsellor can be helpful in managing your emotional reaction to the trauma you describe.  You're in the right place for understanding with this, as many members have impacts from ex partners who lash out following a breakup.  It's very upsetting to imagine this starting up with your new partner, I'm sure.  Keep posting.  We are here for you.

Love and light x


Title: Re: First post
Post by: Mutt on September 19, 2017, 06:10:04 PM
Hi rainbowconxn,

*welcome*

Id like to join   C<||| Harley Quinn and welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm glad that you have found us, there is hope. A r/s break-up is difficult to get over, it helps to talk to people that can relate with you, it looks like you're trying to help yourself out and the best combination is a support group concurrently with a T.

Excerpt
I've started to fear that my BP ex may somehow find this person and start harassing them the same way she has my friends, business associates, and our children.

I can relate with that, how is she towards you now?