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Title: Communication Post by: Journey99 on September 18, 2017, 06:12:44 PM The first time I took my daughter to a psychiatrist, she was seven. She will be 55 this year. Her original diagnosis (in her late teens) was OCD and depression. About six years ago she was diagnosed with BPD. She has been hospitalized several times, and released after a few days no better than before. She has cut herself, run away from her family when they tried to help and continually searches for a new savior. She uses alcohol to self medicate, has shop lifted and has had several run-ins with the law. Now she is in another state and is looking towards her family for help in getting away from the people with whom she resides. She blames me for most of her problems. A phone call from her involves crying, sobbing, screaming and often hanging up. I believe she is suffering greatly. I know I cannot have her live with me and maintain my own sanity. I need to find an approach in communicating with her that might at least let her know that her family does love her. She is now communicating with her sister but does not have any expectations about her sister having the means to help her. Does anyone have a technique in communicating that seems to be effective with their BPD family member? This very brief synopsis does not begin to cover our journey. Thank you for any replies.
Title: Re: Communication Post by: incadove on September 19, 2017, 12:36:50 AM I hope someone has good suggestions here, that sounds really difficult.
You clearly care for your dd, I think that keeping communication lines open, and maybe sending occasional small gifts would communicate that you care and build up a little positive feeling. What kind of therapies has your daughter had? :)id she ever try DBT? You have had this for a long time, I guess you have already studied BPD extensively and practiced the validation and other techniques? What has helped so far, is there a way her sister communicates that is helpful? Good luck, take care of yourself along the way Title: Re: Communication Post by: Lollypop on September 19, 2017, 01:58:03 AM Hi!
I'd like to join Incadove in welcoming you. I've been working hard on improving my communication skills with my adult son for the last 21 months. It's been a big learning curve for me and I am improved, not perfect though! The basic idea is for me DS to FEEL that he's understood and loved. So validation is key. The way we interact is better than it was and at least he answers texts and calls now. It starts with me listening most of the time. Showing real and genuine empathy about their situation and how they feel. Setting aside how I feel about it. I'm more open hearted and I'm warmer. Their problem, not mine, but I'm there to always listen to help him share himself. Here's a few links that may help but I'm conscious of you already knowing: https://bpdfamily.com/parenting/02. Do you use validation with your daughter? If so then moving onwards to SET may help you https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=143695.0 Do you think these help? If not then please get back to us. It's difficult to know from one post what specifically can help in a practical way. Hugs to you. It sounds like you been through the mill and then back again. It's exhausting. LP |