BPDFamily.com

Hi there.

My daughter was just diagnosed as borderline. I've suspected for a year or more that this may be happening, and it is hard news, as I have been in a professional role working with clients who have this disorder--I know how persistent and destructive it can be. My friend encouraged me to get support here. I have a lot of fears, but at the moment I'm most afraid of becoming codependent for the sake of my own comfort. If I make things easy for my daughter (who lives with us) life will be easier for me too. New rules to a new game. I'm grateful to have books that give good advice, but it's going to take a lot of learning and trial and error... .and support! Thanks in advance.

adoptivemama

Hi adoptivemam 

Welcome to BPFamily, it's hard news as you say, I'm glad you reached out for support, parents here understand, some in similar situations, you are not alone. How has your daughter received the diagnosis? What made you suspect BPD, what behaviours are you dealing with?

WDx

Thanks Wendy,

I hope I'm replying right! I appreciate your reaching out to me. My daughter had a week long psychotic episode in early August about a month after she returned from a school year in Germany where she got evicted from two host homes, leaving the moms very angry and not even willing to talk to me.

I took to her to the County Mental Health Clinic, and they did a very brief intake, asking nothing of what had happened to bring us IN TO their office (can you tell I have frustration about this?) and diagnosed her with persistent depression. Being a social worker, I knew that the diagnosis was very faulty, and I didn't sleep until I got her in to see someone more professional--she got into an intensive outpatient hospital based program where she went three days a week for three weeks. They diagnosed her with BPD, which I had been suspecting/dreading for a few years. They never bothered to interview me after the intake either, but at least they listened to me for a few minutes during the intake and got the full picture of what was going on.

My daughter was adopted at age ten, and her birth mom had multiple personalitiy disorders--many different diagnoses throughout her life that didn't match up very well. Mom also had bipolar.

My daughter had been extremely jealous for years, and she had done some self harm a couple of times in her preteen years, and she has been inventing memories of me saying terrible things about her more and more, but not until this summer did she display ongoing rage--almost a whole new personality, and suicidal ideation.  I am the one and only target of her rage, so I'm learning to shield myself from too much time with her, and get planned respite. Thankfully, I have a great therapist.

I really like your screen name! Love Peter Pan.

--OverwhelmedMama