|
Title: What does it mean to be somebody they are "close" to ? Post by: CycleBreaker123 on November 20, 2017, 07:24:53 PM Everything I read about BPD indicates that someone who has the condition will treat people they are "close" to quite badly. My friend has BPD. She treats me terribly at times, it's ridiculous actually. Actually, lately she treats me quite badly all of the time. Objectively speaking, if I line up the things she has said and done over the course of the year, any reasonable person would say "wow, this person truly dislikes you". And one thing that has contributed to my "hanging in there" is this notion that "well, she must think of you as someone she is CLOSE to, otherwise she wouldn't dare carry on this way", etc. But this is making less and less sense to me as time goes by. What does it mean to say somebody with BPD is "close" to another person? :)oes "close" simply mean "the person with BPD has found somebody who puts up with constant abuse" and thus, by defintion, that person who puts up with the abuse is deemed "close"? :)oes "close" simply mean "someone they can abuse without risk of being abandoned"? Does "close" simply mean "my punching bag"? Thus their parents become first choice of people they are "close" to - followed by offspring - then spouses - then long term partners or old friends who have proven their loyalty over time? I used to think somebody "close" to me meant somebody whom I had much regard for. But in BPD world, does "somebody they are close to" mean something else entirely?
Title: Re: What does it mean to be somebody they are "close" to ? Post by: Tattered Heart on November 22, 2017, 11:25:16 AM Sorry that you feel like you are being treated so badly cyclebreaker123. It sounds like you are talking about splitting behavior. I know it seems very personal, but it is rarely that your pwBPD acts this way on purpose because they need someone to beat up on. It comes from their inabilty to see gray areas in a person so the person either must be all good or all bad. When they are good, they are the best thing in the world to the pwBPD. When they are all bad, the pwBPD sees them as an enemy.
YOu can read a little more about this here: How a Borderline Relationship Evolves (https://bpdfamily.com/content/how-borderline-relationship-evolves) |