BPDFamily.com

Well, not surprising. Her claims don't match up with what anyone else says about her. She's been pulling the 'treating psychotherapists' line for years, with no a bit of evidence to back it up. Funnily enough, I do remember that she has, in the past, referenced her service as 'my practice', so I wonder  how she'll hold up legally. She throws diagnoses out like chocolate. When I read through her Twitter she was referring to people like Hilary Clinton and Amal Clooney as BPD. When I first learned about BPD I found her articles useful as an overview (all grammatical errors aside) but my further learning and her wacky Tweeting really subverted my opinion on her. I never called her, but having reading some stuff about her methods and skimmed her videos, I'm glad I didn't. No point shelling out all that money to be told to say nice things about yourself before bed.

That, and she seems genuinely unhinged in her videos. The way she speaks, her shouting, her condescending tenor towards people - even here the 'little psychology student' that tattled on her - and her rather... .odd views on other matters (religion, star signs).

I found her articles at the top of search reslts and those articles where the first ones that I read. I was really angry having been left by my wife for her boyfriend - it's hard when you're in a love triangle like that your partner at least would acknowledge you but after she had a boyfriend it's like I had no voice.  

Her articles validated that anger but they were shallow because there wasn't really a guideline on how to heal your wounds and move forward and that's what I wanted I didn't want her or the break-up to cause me pain for the rest of my life.

I also ended up picking up a lot of junk psych that didn't do me good either. My impression is that she seems likes she's unhinged. Thankfully there are sites like this that gave the necessary tools, steps and support to mend and move forward.

Yeah, I ended up feeling more angry after trying some of her ideas out. Thing is, her whole philosophy is that anger is a healthy emotion that should be expressed. And, to be fair, yes, you have a right to be angry when you've been mistreated, and when you've sat on your feelings for years being able to express anger is liberating. Schreiber ends there though. No moving on from it, she suggests we always express our anger in ways like screaming or beating a bed with a bat or club. At some point it becomes apparent this woman isn't helping you heal from pain, but rather is just telling you it's okay to be mad. That and she has enough rage within to regularly need to beat her furniture with a baseball bat.

She essentially offers a less researched, less professionally written example of I Hate You, Don't Leave Me where she summarises BPD behaviour and its effects on us. That's another thing that stood out to me about her: most of what she says is pretty standard and known to BPD experts and writers, and there are in-depth books on it, yet she seemed to describe herself as this radical thinker and expert, and the only one who really knew how to work with and 'heal' BPD. She also seems to live and breathe her own generalizations, makes no attempt to understand individuals, and her 'assertiveness' seems more like stubbornness and narcissism in her videos.

So, yeah, she's probably one of the first people someone might find about BPD, and her articles might give them some help, but people really should quickly move on to better and more credible sources.

I worked with her briefly and she was very threatening and condescending. Like Mutt, I was angry after my breakup and her articles validated, fueled more anger. Her marketing is superb, you have to give her credit there!

 I remember her telling me a story about a new neighbor who came over and complained that her trees were encroaching on her property so she planted more... .something to that effect... .talk about an irrational response. When she spoke it was almost with an evil lilt. This is not someone who solves problems, this is someone who encourages additional "duels". She told me I needed to be "reparented" and treated me like I was her kid. It was very creepy and after two sessions I blew her off.

Well, that's something. Sorry you had to go through that, having to deal with this person's lunacy while trying to recover from your own bad experiences. She does seem like someone who enjoys getting 'back' at her enemies (of whom there appear to be quite a few, and they're all Borderlines... .)

Did not care at all for her 'above it all' attitude anyway.

I happened upon an article of hers about BPD. Some of it made sense and she was really hard on BPD people which gave me a sense of validation. Then I saw she had some Youtube videos so I watched a couple. It was then that I got the impression that this woman is totally full of herself, perhaps a narcissist, and appears to be a complete whack job.

She spews forth a lot of ridiculous nonsense as fact, and not just about psychology. She talks about a miracle diet where you can eat as much fat and calories as you want and never gain weight as long as you don't mix protein and starches. Not only is there absolutely no science to back it up, it's been proven false.

Her videos shed a lot of light on what emotional level she is operating in... .


Info on Shari Schreiber:
bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=273738 (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=273738.msg1160463#msg1160463)

Road rage is good and other tools... . 


Date: Sep 10, 2017(https://bpdfamily.com/book-covers/spacer.gif)Minutes: 6:52
F_ck Anger Management | Shari Schreiber

she looks in her video like shes un ravelling a bit now, cant really blame her in the line of work she has been in.

burned-out much?

I was and still am, grateful for the work she has published, it helped me with what I was going through at the time.

Do you agree with the suggestion of routinely using rage as a coping mechanism? She goes into details about pre-meditated anger reactions like taking a bat to a bed, pounding seats, screaming at the top of your lungs. She says road rage is good.

If you saw this written on a BPD website, what would you think?

I once did a type of therapy called bioenergetics. Bioenergetics has practices to externalize anger like taking a bat and hitting a pillow. It never worked for me. Now, it is pretty much accepted that the way to process strong emotions is to be present in the moment through mindfulness practices.

I found her articles to be spot on. Her tweets were a little over the top though. I really feel her articles put into words exactly what I had experienced. It's been two plus years for me and I feel great.

There is a big difference between therapy and counseling. Counselors give advice. Therapists help clients to build their ego strength and support the client to do what is right for him or her. Unfortunately, there are bad people in every profession who have no ethics. Stay clear of therapists that make themselves the expert on your life and what is best for you. You are the one who knows what is best for you. If you are having trouble making decisions, it can help to see a therapist that does collaborative therapy, and helps you to figure out what is best for you. It can be extremely helpful to work long term with a therapist that specializes in  trauma who helps the client Learn ways to regulate overwhelming emotions like anxiety and depression so that the client can spend more time in a calm, positive state which is optimal for making the best decisions.

I found Shari Schreiber's site before I found BPD Family.  Her posts on BPD felt reactionary and perhaps even a bit sensational.  --BPD is a terrible disorder and having tangled with it I understand how devastating, confusing and hurtful even a brief relationship can be with someone suffering from BPD.

What I felt was lacking in Shari Schreiber's articles was any level of compassion for people suffering from BPD.  I left my ex -but I still feel enormous pity for the emptiness and darkness which is her life. 

She would have consumed me, but I loved her and she is first and foremost a fellow human being. 

Even after all I have been through I am not angry with her, she has a personality disorder and has no control over her emotional state.  I feel it is important for my recovery from our relationship to see my ex from all sides -she is not a disorder -she is a woman in a lot of pain. 


Wicker Man

Wicker Man,
Your comments are spot on, and are really helpful. We can recover and deal with our relationships with people with BPD if we see all sides of them and have compassion versus demonizing them. I am guilty of demonizing my BPD relatives and your comments help me to see that I can love them for the good they have in them even though they have hurt me in ways that will always be painful. It helps to have compassion for them which is showing compassion for myself as well.

I wish I could be angry with my ex.  It would make things easier on me, but I feel it would be like being angry at a cat for being a cat... .  I had to reject Shari Schreiber's panecea -it seemed like too easy a way out for me.  I need to process what I experienced in a more balanced and thoughtful way.

Sure --I was hurt to the point I had to break off our engagement, but I did love this person enough to propose marriage.  I ultimately feared for my utter destruction, the end of life as I know it.  Sounds dramatic I know, but this epiphany hit me suddenly at the end of her final 7 day rage --the realization was shocking.

The one I loved is a human being who --When she loved me she loved me with an intensity I have never felt before --When she hated me she hated me with an intensity I have never felt before --When she drank she forgot about us completely.  I never felt any intent or control on her part -yes there was malice, but never intent.  She is a hapless victim of her disorder, a leaf blown in a maelstrom.

I was not aware of BPD during the tenure of our relationship, she had been misdiagnosed with schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder.  I understand why, during times of duress she heard voices and had visual hallucinations.  Not being a mental health care professional I took this diagnosis as correct.  She didn't exhibit any other signs of schizophrenia, so I figured she was extremely high functioning... .  This turns out not to have been the case.

I wish I could be angry with her, instead I just feel pity. Beside her incredible inner beauty lies a darkness which periodically, and unpredictably blots out her inner light.


Wicker Man

After my divorce and reading info on BPD i actually did a free consult with her.  She made me feel very small and was all about wanting to make me feel like I was a BPD person.  She said, "we can't attract BPD unless we are BPD."  I think that was a bit of projection to be honest and she may have traits more along the lines of narcissism so all of her BPD clients were just "fuel" for her.  Anyway, that was my experience and i'm glad i didn't engage with her as a "BPD coach".  One thing i knew was that coaches are supposed to try and help you feel better about yourself, not worse.   I had already had enough of that from my ex wife; didn't need it from someone who was claiming to help you with BPD recovery.

Wicker man, you say you wish you could be angry with your ex. I am wondering what kinds of anger you are talking about. Is is anger that mobilizes us when threatened and allows us to do what we have to do and the anger is then resolved? There is another kind of anger that is a cover up for avoiding uncomfortable emotions like sadness. This kind of anger will not likely go away unless we feel and process the feelings hidden by the anger. I really love that you are so compassionate with your ex, so you might be feeling the underlying feelings directly, so there is no anger. Just some things I am thinking about which may be relevant or way off the mark. I find your posts helpful in finding better ways to deal with my borderline family members. Thank you.

 

Well... .to be honest I was hoping for the sort of anger which would allow me the luxury of not caring what the rest of her life will feel like for her.  The sort of anger which would help me deal with my empathy for someone who is no longer a part of my life. --Time will heal all these wounds, but it feels like anger would be a welcome bandage.

The healing process I am going through is better for me in the long run  --rather than simply being angry and repressing, however, the idea of a short cut is welcome sometimes.  I just don't have it in me.

Wicker Man