BPDFamily.com

My adult daughter is seeking help to control her emotions and rage.  Any book suggestions?  She is seeing a therapist but I'm not sure she shows her true self... .

Hi Glo

 *hi*

Welcome to the community. It's wonderful to hear your daughter is reaching out for help with a therapist to control emotions and rage. Does your daughter live with you, how are you coping?  I know what you mean when you say you are not sure your daughter shows her true self to the therapist, a lot of parents here will be nodding with you. My daughters therapist called her the Queen of Avoidance  , sometimes the therapist can make their way through in time.

Here are some Book Reviews (https://bpdfamily.com/content/book-reviews)
popular for many parents here when we are starting out are Loving someone with borderline personality disorder (my personal no 1) and Stop walking on eggshells - do they sound like what you are looking for?

Is your daughter interested in learning at this point? My daughter has read widely it's helped her feel less alone in understanding her struggles and being able to help herself.

I'm glad you've joined us, we are here for you.

WDx

Thanks for the warm welcome, WDx.

I have read Stop Walking on Eggshells and keep it close by!  I think she is interested in learning more about how to control her emotions and anger so I was asking for a good read for her.  She has never been officially diagnosed with BPD but I think she has so many of the signs with the exception of alcohol or substance abuse problems.  Thankful we don't have to deal with that.

She is going through a second separation and the loss of both children (one from each marriage).  She has a difficult time holding on to a job although she is very capable.  She moved in with us about 9 months ago and it's very difficult.  We are managing but a week ago she went into a rage that was scary and it was over a minor thing.  She's under a lot of stress with the thought of loosing another child--she doesn't even want custody--just visitation rights and her husband is turning their son against her (parental alienation).  I just want to help her help herself.  Any suggestions are appreciated.

Glo

Hi Glo

You are most welcome, I'm so glad you found us 


My daughter is away until tomorrow, else I'd ask her for your daughter.

The first book my 29DD read immediately after her diagnosis 2015 and gave her much comfort was Mindfullness for Borderline Personality Disorder (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16087719-mindfulness-for-borderline-personality-disorder) Blaise Aguirre is her hero and mine  :) Our first steps together, we walked our path for over a year till treatment became available, we dipped in and out of what worked at that time. To be honest I think that was the making of us, we connected during the most difficult of times.

Does you daughter find ways to self sooth, small things like taking a bath, my daughter finds relief from Lush bath bombs, or placing her face in cold water? Ways to bring her back to baseline? Feeling physical sensations in her crisis 2 years ago  helped her find her way out.

I'm sorry your daughter is going through losing a child, second time, it sounds like your daughter is wanting to work this through, she's fighting to be well for her and her children. She see a future, it's not clear yet and that's ok, I've got there in small steps, by daughter too.

I hope this helps and look forward to getting on the same page with you.  

How are you coping Glo are you taking time to look after you, day by day?

WDx

Thanks for your concern for me.  Yes, I am retired and enjoy a very busy schedule (which I love).  My passion is playing pickleball for several hours most days, singing and serving in my church.  I have much love and support from my husband and close friends.

I'm going to order the book you mentioned and have it ready at the "right" time.

Have a great week!

Glo

Hi there Glo

I've never heard of pickleball! I'm in the UK and likely slow off the hoof, eye on other things right now.   I just looked PB up, combines tennis, badminton and table tennis, wow, yes - I'm following you!

I'm so glad to hear you the have support of your family and your church.

One question for you, what kind therapy is your daughter engaging?

WDx