BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: JNChell on February 21, 2018, 10:51:44 AM



Title: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: JNChell on February 21, 2018, 10:51:44 AM
My intake with a new T is scheduled for tomorrow. I’m reaching out for advice on questions I should ask her to gauge if she’ll be a good fit. I have a few so far that are listed. Does anyone have any to add that would be wise to ask?

1. Are you knowledgeable in treating PTSD and core childhood wounds?
2. Are you familiar with BPD/NPD?
3. Do you believe that a man can suffer abuse at the hands of a woman?
4. Are you knowledgeable in treating codependency?


Title: Re: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: spero on February 21, 2018, 11:18:37 AM
JNChell, if i may here goes.

Excerpt
1. Are you knowledgeable in treating PTSD and core childhood wounds?

I think it would be better to rephrase your question towards... ."I think i might have suffered PTSD in my previous relationship" and you can explain the symptoms you are having. Now regarding childhood trauma or FOO ( family of origin ) issues, it takes a while to work with therapist before he/she can firmly establish the patterns and help you identify the core wounds. This question is where it starts. Asking a therapist if he / she is familiar and had handled such cases would be a better choice of words. What i mention above involves you talking about your family history, dynamics, key incidents, this will help map out the psycho pathology of family of origin... this however, isn't gonna happen over one session.

Excerpt
2. Are you familiar with BPD/NPD?

I suppose i would need to understand your intention of asking your T this question? Usually a T would want to help you to get better, So if the BPD/NPD is not your symptom, a T would usually not want to diagnose. Or perhaps JNChell, are you asking that question to seek validation of what you have experienced. If you want to take that approach... .i suggest you describing the experience you had been involved with. Therapists usually remain neutral and are unlikely to take "sides". So describing what you had been through... .rightly so especially when it might have traumatised you, might be a better angle to broach this subject.

Excerpt
3. Do you believe that a man can suffer abuse at the hands of a woman?

I don't know about this one. Don't get me wrong. I obviously believe one can. Especially if you have allowed the person to step over your boundaries and treat you in ways which make you feel disrespected and violated. It is easier to say, "i had difficulties with my relationship with this lady", again describe the situation to the T and let the T come to his/her own conclusion. A good T would be able to pick out the abuse/emotional abuse feedback to you and ask you the appropriate questions. There are many ways to ask a question without asking the question.

Excerpt
4. Are you knowledgeable in treating codependency?

I reiterate the point about explaining the interactions with you and your ex partner. And i think that would help your T understand the situation. No T would immediately jump to the direct conclusion that you are co-depenedent, even if you might be. That is unprofessional because, we ourselves on the receiving end, may have our own biases to a certain situation. In the same way, we might have our own blind spots.

I found this from quora and i think it is helpful,

"the process  of Psychoanalysis typically involves an Analyst, as well as a whole set of assumptions about how the Psyche is constructed. You need not go this route,. I would recommend keeping a journal. You can write your most private thoughts away from the judgment of others, ruminate as much as you wish without fear of boring a listener and ask yourself many personal and probing questions which you can try to answer.  This practice will make you more proficient in stating and understanding issues. If you are honest with yourself, you will become skilled in recognizing, not only your own motives, but those of others."

Link for reference https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-perform-modern-psychoanalysis-on-yourself (https://www.quora.com/Is-it-possible-to-perform-modern-psychoanalysis-on-yourself)

I also second that keeping a diary would be a better option of expressing how you feel as apposed to self reflection or self psycho analysis.

I hope this kinda helps...
Spero.


Title: Re: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: Duped 1 on February 21, 2018, 11:31:32 AM
I personally would not see a counselor who doesn’t have a background with NPD and BPD. I switched to one who does. I like your questions


Title: Re: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: steelwork on February 21, 2018, 12:03:35 PM
Hi JNChellHell,

I think your list of questions is good because these are the things that are preoccupying you. They will help your potential T understand what's weighing on you. And as you ask these questions and hear the answer, you'll be getting and giving feedback about that indefinable element of compatibility with the T.

As screening questions, I think they aren't the ones I'd go for. I think any qualified T, unless they are super-specialized, will be knowledgable in treating core childhood issues, be familiar with personality disorders, understand that women can and do abuse men, and though they may prefer another term for it, will frequently treat people with codependency issues.

I think you'd get more mileage from asking: How do they feel they can help you with these issues? Do they favor a particular approach? You might look into and ask about:

cognitive behavioral therapy
psychodynamic therapy
family systems therapy

You might even get a surprising response. The T might favor something like Lacanian or Jungian therapy, and that might give you pause.

In sum: the four questions you posed are things any therapist will answer "yes" to.


Title: Re: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: JNChell on February 21, 2018, 12:52:28 PM
Thanks for the feedback everyone. It helps!


Title: Re: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: Skip on February 21, 2018, 01:37:05 PM
Most therapists will answer those questions as yes, yes, yes, and yes.  :)

I'd ask "what is", "what personal experience do you have with", and "how do you treat" questions of .

      PTSD and core childhood wounds
Personality disorders BPD/NPD
Female on male physical abuse
Codependency

I might ask the trade-off for you when considering steelwork's list.

cognitive behavioral therapy
psychodynamic therapy
family systems therapy

I opted for a CBT expert and then finished out with a Christian therapist. I don't think I would go with a CC early on, but as far as finishing with it, it was good (tough and motivating). He set a high bar. CBT was action/results oriented.

And my pet pev... .what percent of the 40 minutes will you be talking to me. I pushed my therapist for 40-50%. I asked a lot of questions in most every session.

Spero, very thoughtful.   |iiii


Title: Re: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: JNChell on February 24, 2018, 10:25:29 AM
I ended up not asking her any of those questions. We talked and she allowed me to explain. She actually asked the question that validated everything. She asked me if I ended up feeling crazy and unsure of myself. I’ve hopefully found a fit.


Title: Re: Questions for my new T at intake
Post by: Sunfl0wer on February 24, 2018, 01:00:37 PM
Excerpt
She asked me if I ended up feeling crazy and unsure of myself
Makes a lot of sense that such a question would communicate lots of validation... .awesome! |iiii

Happy for you!