BPDFamily.com

Hello all,


This is my very first post on this site. About 2 weeks ago my girlfriend of 14 months broke up with me, she strongly identifies with her BPD. There were a couple of odd health problems I had right before beginning to date her. As time went on in the relationship, many more health problems came up. Every time that I go to a health care provider they say it is anxiety. I cannot help but think it is something more.
I thought that a lack of nutrients was the reasoning for many of these random health problems. Now that me and my ex broke up, and I am reading more and more about BPD (I did my research before making things exclusive, now I’m reading more), I see that sometimes physical health problems are associated with dating somebody with BPD.
I am wondering if anybody has experience with this or any knowledge they are able to share to help guide me in my path of figuring out my physical health.

Welcome!

I don’t think you’re alone with health issues arising from this kind of relationship. There was a topic much like this a little while back, you may additionally look into it and search for it.

I myself was on a very low dose medication for hypertension before I encountered  my pwBPD. Over the course of just this 2 month encounter, my medication was doubled twice, so I now take 4x the dose I used to, a dose that never needed to go up through a decade of life events.

The emotional roller coaster is real. Stress takes a toll on health.

The other day I noticed that I hadn't had a migraine in five months.

I was discarded five months ago by my uBPDexbf.

Hi Thought I Was Aware sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a terrible situation. I personally was in my marriage for 22 years with what I believe was a BPD wife. I also felt anxiety at times even to go home sometimes. I developed a medical condition called NAAION which is Non Arteritic Anterior Ischemic Optic Neuropathy in short I lost some of the vision in my right eye. All the medical professionals [family doctor, neurologist ,ophthalmologist and counsellor]. I have dealt with have determined that it was almost certainly caused by the abusive conditions I was living through during my marriage. 
  I dealt with verbal, emotional and physical abuse and during the last number of years kept a journal documenting the dates ,times and what had transpired related to those situations. I also took pictures of some of the acts that transpired such as on numerous occasions having many of my personal belongings thrown outside or in the garbage. I tried to also record some of the crazy arguments that happened frequently. I was physically abused and then told the incidents never happened when I asked for an apology a few days later.
  My medical condition I am afflicted with is a lifelong condition that will not get better and jokingly some of the medical people have told me it is memento of my marriage.

Hey ThoughtIWas, Let me echo Cat in d Hat and say Welcome!  I suspect that most of us here will agree that a BPD r/s takes a physical toll on us Nons, because the stress can be enormous and unrelenting.  It's bound to have a physical effect, though I'm sure it varies w/each individual.  Are seeing a T?  What are you doing to alleviate your odd health problems?  Any b/u is stressful and from what you are saying it has only been two weeks.  Cut yourself some slack!  It's normal to feel down after a b/u.

LJ

Hi Thought I was,
I truly believe that there is a physical impact on those of us that have been in a relationship with a BPD. Of course there is the anxiety, stress, depression etc. That's to be expected because of the extreme stress and pressure that you are put under. But the physical ailments are more insidious. Myself, I have been in relationship with BPD for 26 years. I was a physically fit 25yr old. Now I have two auto immune conditions. Widespread osteoarthritis. Had spinal surgery. Problems with chronic pain. Cardiac problems relating to prescription pain meds. The list goes on. I honestly believe that I wouldnt be such a physical wreck if I hadn't stayed. A BPD can drain your emotional soul but equally they can tear you apart physically.
I hope that your physical and emotional health are improving as time passes. I hope that you find the strength in yourself to let yourself heal holistically. You need to concentrate on you and take care of yourself.

My DH and I married after his 30+ year marriage to the uNPD/BPD ex-wife they had not lived together for 10 years). Weird.

DH has:  high blood pressure, high chloresterol, Type II diabetes, diverticulosis, and herpes. We attribute the high blood pressure and diverticulitis to the stress of the former marriage. He of course can  directly attribute the herpes to her infidelities. All three conditions are exacerbated by stress... .hmmmm... .no diverticulitis or herpes outbreaks in over five years... .wonder why?

I feel like I have been through a washing cycle, as mentioned previously, the headaches have gone, I just feel exhausted.

I lost 30 pounds, developed an eye twitch and a lot of my hair fell out. I also saw these odd white spots appear on the side of my face, like reverse freckles!

All has gone back to normal except for the white spots, and those are easily covered with makeup. :)

ThoughtIWasAware,

I became ill with ME/CFS about 25 years in to our marriage.  I caught a bad flu bug and I expected to recover like I had in the past when the flu hit me, but this time was very different.  I continued to work, thinking my body would figure out how to kill the virus that made me feel awful everyday.  I tried supplements, exercising, drinking more water, etc.  It took months of visits with a primary care physician to figure out what was wrong.  He diagnosed my illness and referred me to a specialist. 

Do a Google search for ME/CFS.  When I became ill, there was very little information on the internet, but that has changed in recent years.  There's still no cure.  Doctors can treat symptoms but that's all they can do.  The specialist I see is 100% convinced that the emotional strain of living with my BPD wife for so many years, depleted my immune system to the point that this auto-immune illness could take hold.  It's awful and has radically changed my life.  We're no longer together, but the damage has been done and I'll have this dumb illness for the rest of my life.  I sincerely hope you're dealing with something else.

love4meNOTu: I wish makeup could make it all better!  :)

I lose a bulk of my muscle mass when these types have managed to claw their way in. Losing 10-15% of hard earned body weight as a life long scrawny person absolutely sucks. I lose most of my desire to eat when I'm with them in some capacity and pretty much all of it when I'm detaching.

Also, my hair seems to fall out slightly quicker but it's worth noting that I've been balding since 16.