BPDFamily.com

I have been married to what I now can describe as a BPD H. In the start of our marriage I took responsibility, blame, and tried time after time to avoid the same mistake, behavior, apologize. I used to cry because dinner was not what he expected, Shane on me for doing what I did wheyegevir was cane with demaeaning and belittling words. I no longer cry but the last months I have not kept quiet. He called the cops on me because one time he kept on going on and about the bad wife, and poor woman I am. He puts me down calling me “Executuve”, my Title at work. He has been so called self employed leaving me to pay for the mortgage, our children’s ( 3 and 1) daycare, food, milk, diapers, cloth, medical bills, groceries, my own vehicle, both car insurances. He is mad because I only pay mine and my kids Healthi insurance. I barely have enough to cover my gas and I am budgeting their cloth expense, hoong my kids don’t get sick because he finished our emergency money. He expects me to pay for his health insurance, his truck, just recently stopped paying for his cell pgj e which I found out later he was texting with another woman and had been really nice helping around the house (when he normally wouldn’t) was extra attentive to the kids. The kids are a have full and very needy right now. My J tells me I can’t handle being a mom. Now he is mad because my brother is getting married and he doesn’t want to go nor me to attend. I am gettting  tired  of his selfishness. He has mood swings all of a sudden he loves me then I do one thing wrong and he sleeps on the edge of the bed. Tonite he went to our bedroom, leaving me with the toddler and baby, while I fixed dinner, entertained both kids , showered, prepared for bed then finally put them to sleep. To then hurry to get me self preped for bed. He left the diner plate I served him on the table. I work 8:00-5:30. Drop off both kids and then pick them up since he needs to work late ours to make sells. He is out on the weekends too and apparently still doesn’t have money. He sometimes 2 a month goes and buys groceries, he does pay for the water and light, the rest is  money that I don’t see nor touch. He expects me to help him too with his expenses since I am the execuitve. So tired of this!

Hi Colorless and welcome to the site tho I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here.  You do have your hands full that's for sure.  How long have you been married?  Has your husband behaved this way since the beginning of the marriage or can you link his behavior to a particular event/time?

You posted this on the Family Law, Custody, Co-Parenting, Divorce Board so I am wondering if you are looking to get divorced or do you want to try to make your relationship better at this point.  We can help you either way and even if you are conflicted about your decision we can help and support you. 

Hope to hear more from you soon.

Hi Colorless,

*welcome*

I'd like to join Harri and welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry that you're going through this, it must be difficult for you to have to juggle everything in the family, a pwBPD are scared of the world and have dependency issues and want others to do things for them that they really should be doing themselves. It also has to hurt deeply that you're doing all of these things and he's talking to another woman, I'd be pretty upset and angry. You will see that reading posts here you are far from being alone.

I wonder what your support network is like you must be stretched pretty thin  What do you do for self care? Do you do things that you enjoy?

 
You appear to be quite flustered with all the pending problems.  We all were when we first arrived.  Please browse among our posts and articles.  Ask questions.  Education and enhancing your skills is to vital.  With that you have the ability to make more informed and more confident decisions.

You might want to read our post & PDF dowload on clinical psychologist Joe Carver (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=305771.0) and also what he wrote elsewhere on his website (http://www.drjoecarver.com/3/miscellaneous2.htm).  In particular read his article "Personality Disorders: The Controllers, Abusers, Manipulators and Users in Relationships".