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Title: New here, Struggling mom-how do you get your kids involved in their treatment Post by: Marathon5 on April 20, 2018, 08:46:22 AM I am struggling with my 14 year old only 3 weeks after being in a rehab facility for 75 days for self harm , eating disorder and depression. It is so hard to get her to want to do diary cards, journal, exercise and mindfulness. Her therapist told
Me that I was working really hard and she was not. How did you get your kids to get involved in their treatment ? Or to understand the benefits of all the therapies out there? Title: Re: Struggling mom Post by: bluek9 on April 20, 2018, 11:15:15 AM WELCOME MARATHON5,
Welcome to this place. Sounds like you have been through the wringer. So sorry for that. 75 days in rehab is long time. It goes to show how much you love your child by getting her help. My BPDD had just an awful teenage hood. Now she is 35 and we live with a whole new set of challenges. When she was younger we didn't a diagnosis so I really didn't know how to help her. She was hospitalized 4 times, went through counselor after counselor all to no avail. Now she goes to her therapy, takes her meds. And yes like you I have done all the work. It wasn't until I found this place that I realized the more I change the more receptive she is to me. She will never change. There is hope Marathon5, keep up what you're doing. Keep posting it is a tremendous help to be here and get supported, get ideas and feed back from other parents who really know what you're going through. Title: Re: New here, Struggling mom-how do you get your kids involved in their treatment Post by: Merlot on April 21, 2018, 01:23:11 AM Hi Marathon5
Welcome to the BPD family Your daughter is so young and this must be so difficult for you, not only is she unwell but it sounds like she is also not helping herself to move forward. Personally, I don't have experience with inpatient treatment however there are many parents here like Bluek9 who will know exactly what you are going through and able to provide some guidance. Her therapist told Me that I was working really hard and she was not. I think as parents we want to step in and make things better for our children, that's just so natural for us. Letting go of fixing and allowing your daughter to take some ownership and responsibility for her part in getting better will be a real challenge for you. It was and still is a real challenge for me. Have you been able to avail yourself to some of the reading on the board to the right |---> ? Also it's great that your daughter is in therapy, it sounds like it is providing real insights for you too. Take care and please keep sharing here as we are alongside you. Merlot Title: Re: New here, Struggling mom-how do you get your kids involved in their treatment Post by: Bright Day Mom on April 21, 2018, 10:45:09 AM Hi Marathon5
My daughter was also 14 when our world changed forever that was 4 years ago. The good part is YOU are still in charge of her treatment until she turns 18. We did it all, multiple IOP, PHPs, residential stay, you name it we got it covered. Think back to when you were 14, would you want to journal, diary, mindfulness exercises; I know I honestly wouldn't. This is why we needed to think outside of the box with my daughter. She got back into some of HER interests, began painting again, picked up intricate coloring, and got back into nature with her camera. Hiking is a terrific example and we'd do it together with our dogs. Aromatherapy is also being embraced, she loves the way it makes her room smell Its important to have a discussion with her about her treatment. Maybe she doesn't get along well with the therapist? I know we went thru a number of them until we found 1 SHE liked. Explain its important to participate and work thru the goings on in her life. Art therapy? Girls group? there are options, just need some feedback to find the right match. Instead of formally writing down in a journal, we talk during dinner about our day, what was pretty cool and what pissed us off, how it made us feel,etc. Before bed, I ask her 1 thing she's grateful for. Initially, she wouldn't take it serious, but then i'd answer and she'd eventually name something |iiii Now its automatic! As part of my D's discharge from residential, we needed to schedule something together. We started Zumba class and attend class together each week. You may want to try finding something the 2 of you can do together, maybe volunteer in a soup kitchen - this gives them a sense of purpose, something they can be proud of. We trained our dog and she became a Certified Therapy Dog Handler; we visit a nursing home weekly. |