BPDFamily.com

Hello.  I am pretty certain my mom has BPD.  My sister was diagnosed as bi-polar but not until she was in her 30's, and then that was changed to schizophrenic.  I have BPD tendencies, so perhaps it's me! I am concerned how this is influencing my son, who is 16.  I am also thinking that I also suffer from "well-Sibling syndrome".  I have been in counseling, but for depression and that never seemed quite like it got to the root of the issue.  No one ever mentioned how having a mentally-ill sibling could effect ME, or ever seemed to think that it might have.  At this moment I feel cheated.  BUT I am here to learn, and read about how others have dealt with these issues. Thanks for being here.
Quip

Hi Quip and welcome.

Having a mentally ill parent and sibling, it is not surprising to me that you may have some traits of BPD.  I did (still do  ) and have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PTSD.  None of those diagnoses are surprising to me when I think back on how I grew up and even into my 30's.  Others on this board have their own labels and behaviors to contend with so you are not alone.  It is rare that anyone gets out of such situations without some issues.  :)  The good news is that you are working on yourself. 

Over on the right side of this page there are links to articles and then there is a section called 'Survivors Guide'  Each part will expand with more info when you click on it.

As you feel comfortable, please share more of your story.  Posting and reading helps a great deal. 

Hi Quip,

*welcome*

Id like to join Harri and welcome you to bpdfamily. I didn’t know that I had mental issues until I met my exuBPDw. I have depression / anxiety like Harri because my dad has untreated anxiety and narcissism that affected the family.

It’s different for me,I’m sure that my kids will have traits, what I try to do is lead by example by taking care of myself and hopefully that trickles down to the kids the same way that the bad traits do. I look forward to reading your post  :)

Hi Quip:
Welcome to the community.
Mental illnesses can have a genetic component and some of us can have a predisposition for things like depression and anxiety. 

How do you feel cheated?  Did you sister get all the attention, with you perhaps being ignored?

What specifically do you think might be influencing your son?  Some of your BPD tendencies?  I think most people have some degree of a BPD trait, especially during stressful times.  Being aware of a behavior that you need to tame is a good step in the right direction. 

I'm looking forward to hearing more of your story, when you feel like you want to share more. 
 

Welcome, Quip!



Please allow me to join the others in welcoming you here to bpdfamily, and wish for you as much help and support as I have received.  It's clear you have a lot in common with many of us here. This is a community where we help each other, so I'm sure if you keep posting and reading you will find it helpful. It helps to know that you are far from alone.

Thank you for sharing with us what you have thus far:


I'm glad to hear that you have reached out for counseling in the past, but I hear that it wasn't as effective as you'd hoped. Could changing counselors help? Perhaps, you could find one who could help you re-frame your emotional landscape into something more manageable, so that you are able to process this stuff safely, and in time, get to the "root of the issue."

In my case, as soon as my wife left me (for the fourth time), I called a therapist. A month later, I joined this site and started participating in the tools, lessons, and discussions. I also make sure to get adequate rest, sleep, and exercise. I'm feeling better every day because I keep doing what works (re-read this paragraph!). :thought: You can start to feel better, too, and I sure hope this is the case. You are not alone.

I do know that a positive thing that you have done for yourself is reached out to us, and believe me when I say this: We understand.

I believe you will be greatly comforted by the support to be found here and the fact that we really understand what you are going through. We've all been there to varying degrees. Take care of yourself. We will look out for future posts from you.

Keep writing, keep processing, keep learning!


-Speck

By this do you mean your mom,  sister, you, or all of the above and the general family dynamic? How is your son doing in life?

T

Hi Quip,

             Just wanted to let you know along with everyone else, you're not alone in this. I come a family of alphabet soup for mental illness. Dad uBPD, alcoholic violent, later diagnosed Bi-polar. He was the one always in the hospital. When he had his heart surgeries I was the only child how would see him. For me it was survivors guilt, of course I didn't make it out of home without my share of deep issues; but I could function. My brothers were not so fortunate. I'm glad you are in counseling, it's a lot of hard work. I think you're on the right track, finding this board, posting, ready to learn. Welcome and please keep posting.

Thank you all for your welcoming posts and very good questions, which I will respond to in a later post that I’m working on offline as time allows.  Just hearing from all of you and reading the many resources here is so affirming.  Thank you all!  More later.
~Quip