BPDFamily.com

Challenge — Family Throw Down!

Once a day, post your own positive “I” statement that you will mindfully reflect on throughout your day.

To build our family, I further challenge you to share and/or comment constructively on posts made by others.

I’ll go first. Here’s my “I” statement for today:

I am lovable.

L2T

I have forgiven myself for my mistakes in the past and I am a better person now. I will continue to be the best person I can be and do what I can to bring out the best in others.

That is beautiful, zachira. Thank you for sharing this. It’s an important reminder that taking care of ourselves to be our best selves actually helps bring out the best in others.

  L2T

Challenge is right.  It is much harder to cheat with google on this one. 

I am valuable.

I am.


Stole that one but still... .it packs a punch doesn't it?

When I posted earlier, I had a really hard time writing what I wrote.  It was even harder to post it.  

Yes! That one certainly does pack a wallop.

I wanted to respond right away after your initial post because I recognized the strength and courage it took for you to make it, but someone recently told me to staaaahp it and I have been trying to honor that request.   You are so very valuable, Harri. You’ve made a huge difference in my life.

  L2T

Thank you.     

This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,
This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine,

Let it shine
Let it shine
Let it shine

I am smart.

Panda39

Yes, Panda, you are smart.

Way to go!

I will not let physical imperfections define me.

Panda39

I am healing every day and I will be just fine!

These are wonderful, Panda and Pina Colada!   YES!

  L2T

I am enough.

 

Yes you are!
Panda39

Hey!  This is... .a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I am taking care of myself first, and that is okay.  (Gulp!)

Thanks Panda and L2T


Well done wakingfirst! 

I can ask for help if I need it.

Panda39

I am trying.

I am everyone and everyone is me.

;-)

When I talk about my relatives with BPD, I will use more I statements and talk about how I feel than he/she statements which puts the focus on him/her.

I do not have to be "perfect"

Panda39

I am open to change.

Gotta love Bob! 

Panda, you are creative and funny and compassionate and wise... .and you make me smile.  Thank you.

Great thread!

L2T, I really like this.  Not only accepting your feelings but giving yourself the power to choose.  Nice!

I am worth loving.

I will not let my fear silence me.

Reading these is like watching fireworks... .I keep reading and think Ooo that's a good one and Ahhhh I relate to that one too.

My "I message" tonight... .I think you all are awesome! 

Panda39

I am going to be just fine.

 :hi: babyducks

Yes you are! I love your attitude.

  L2T

I have been a resilient survivor, and will continue to put the work in until I’m an unmistakable thriver.

JNChell, this is AWESOME! Visualizing you —and all of us— unmistakably thriving today.    Go you! Go us!

  L2T

JNChell
I can't help but think that the love you have for your son and wanting to give him a better childhood than you had is the best motivator you could have to do the work of healing and becoming a thriver.

Zachira, thank you.  You are spot on.

I can't help but think that the love you have for your son and wanting to give him a better childhood than you had is the best motivator you could have to do the work of healing and becoming a thriver.

I will not let my fear silence me.

Harri, if anything, our fear should allow us to call on others for  :help:, or to speak up and be heard. We were never taught this. We were conditioned to stuff everything. It is natural and normal to express our fears to those closest to us. We deserve validation, comfort and guidance when it comes to fear. Personally, I have a lot of fear inside of me.

I’m wondering if you can relate to this. We were forced to stuff our fears from a very early age. We were taught that we shouldn’t be afraid of some very scary stuff. We couldn’t express it, had to bottle it, so it’s still stuck inside of us. We’re not quite sure how to handle it when it shows it’s face, so we stuff it again. Just like we were taught to do. Maybe this becomes the true witche’s brew that is at a slow boil inside of some of us?

We didn’t create this. It is not ours to own, but unfortunately it is our’s to manage now.

Sometimes I sit and wonder how many people there are out in the world, hell, how many people I pass in the grocery store, that have been through similar things, but have absolutely no understanding of what they’ve been through. People just like all of us on this board. I understand that these are just thoughts, possibly some kind of self soothing mechanism, but these thoughts create feelings of being happy that I’m aware, as well as being sad for those that may never get it and continue to perpetuate the multi-generational cycle. I guess I went on a bit too long here.

I am worth loving.

Wools, you most certainly are!   Ya know, there’s a saying that has stuck with me throughout the years. ”Think globally, act locally”. Most often when this quote pops into my mind, I revert it to love. If love were rampant in the world, this support group wouldn’t exist. As it is, there is a concept that love cannot exist without hate, black without white, etc. I’m not sure about this concept, but it seems to fit a manufactured narrative.

When we’re born, we only need love and nourishment. We are malleable. I often wonder at what point in ancient history did all of this dysfunction begin to manifest. Was the tribal aspect of survival taken for granted? And once the creep of modernization that slowly broke up the tribal way of life did people start to realize what love really is? When it was being taken from them? Or has love always been a constant that needs to be evolved around?

I’m getting out there a bit so I’ll stop while I’m behind. You are very worthy of love.

Panda39, you are awesome as well!

My "I message" tonight... .I think you all are awesome!  Love it! (click to insert in post)

You’re here for a loved one. I understand that you were married to an alcoholic, but you’re not really here for that. You’re here to help your collective family. You’re also here to help others, and I just want you to know how commendable that is. You’re here everyday. I appreciate the straightforwardness of many of your messages. Maybe a grizzly is more appropriate?  You strike me as a very strong and aware person. You’re awesome P39!

 :hi:babyducks!

You are going to be “just fine”. You said it yourself.  As I’m binge typing on my phone, I’m also watching my S3 sleep. Your “I” statement rings true for him too. He’s not subjected to a cruel childhood. He’s at peace.

I read a bit of your original post. If I’m correct, you found your way here because of a breakup? I did too. As the Board Parrot says, all boards lead to PSI. It’s the truth.

What a fantastic thread!  

My statement today is:

"I am enough, exactly as I am, in this moment"

Really love everyone's statements that I've read here.  It's wonderful to feel the positivity radiate out from you all  

I am not perfect, and that's okay.

Panda39

Good one Panda!  We are perfectly imperfect 

I am parrot.

I am not perfect, but I am pretty parrot good


Totally agree! I love the hamster  (and panda too of course ;-) )


That great moment when a parrot gets parroted

I laugh, I care, I cry, I feel anger and I feel love and joy, sadness and pain.  I am human.

I believe. Our pages are crinkled, but our binding is strong. We’re all here, together, because we made a choice. It’s not fate, it’s awareness. I believe in us. 

Love this!   

Panda39

JNChell, you too have been assimilated into the PSI family and I am quite pleased!  I really like you contributions here.  Thank you.

And I see you poking around Ms Harley Quinn.  Good to have you pop in.

Yeeees! Breathing this in and holding on to it. 

  L2T

Amen to that JNChell! 

This one really resonates with me and is not something I do very often.  Something to be more conscious of.

Panda39

I can let go and just be responsible for myself.

  L2T

I am not shameful.

Indeed! Like Pete Walker says: Feeling shame does not mean you are shameful.

I am a dyslexic wot has leaned to write proper. I am currently writing the diarrhea of a dyslexic; it’s just flows out of me. 

I acknowledge my own self worth.   I can take good care of me.

Happy Chappy, you always give me a giggle  


babyducks, these are really good, and I know from my own experience hard earned.

Mine for today... .I am capable and I will not let fear rule my life.

Panda39

I need to remind myself today that:

I can take the next step to healing.

 
Wools

I realize that fear is a bad advisor.

Oh Fie, I love this!

My BPD Family signature... .
"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink

I will add to yours... .I will push through the fear.

Panda39

Ahhhh hahaha, HappyChappy! Humor brings laughter, the best medicine. Thank you for brightening my day. I’ve missed reading your posts.

  L2T

I will rest my mind and body tonight confident that I have given my best. That is enough, no matter what anyone else thinks or says.

  L2T

You do a great job on these boards L2T, so you should be confident.  

My thought for the day:

I am a survivor and thriver of a war torn childhood. I am proud of that achievement. Can I have a big medal please ?

Well yes you can actually:

(https://lepawsvoyage.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/petsmagazine2.jpg)

I've also included a trophy for you  I am proud of your achievement too  

HappyChappy,
 
I second, Kwamina!    Love the photo!

Panda39

A survivor and a thriver. YES!    You are a SURTHRIVOR, HappyChappy!  That’s a fantastic medal and trophy Kwamina got for you. 

  L2T

I can be changed by what happened to me but I refuse to be reduced by it.  
~Maya Angelou

I am able to encourage others because of what I have learned on my journey.

Wools, yes you can and you do it so gracefully and with such beauty!  I am thankful for you.

“The world breaks everyone,
and afterwards,
some are strong at the broken places.”
—Ernest Hemingway

**no obvious 'I' but it is an I statement

Very true! I also want to quote Emily Dickinson here who had a very parrot state of mind which I of course greatly appreciate and admire:

IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

I am indeed forever changed by my experiences with my BPD family-members... .but, I am also forever changed by my experiences with my fellow bpdfamily members

That quote by Ms Dickinson is beautiful  You shared that with me when I was struggling so with my purpose in life and trying to find meaning.  I will always remember that coming from my favorite parrot. 

Yes.  Thank you.   

I can trust myself to make difficult decisions.

  L2T - run free tonight sweet pup, you are loved and missed dearly

Indeed. And you have also facilitated meaningful exchanges and experiences that have forever changed many hearts and lives. Thank you for being our amazing Board Parrot.

  L2T

Spoken like a Parrott.Kwamina you are exceptionally good at helping others, you high flying bird you. Out of interest what does the robin symbolise in your Emily Dickinson poem ?

My thought for the day:
I am proud I have never done anything I am really ashamed off (unless talking a load of rubbish counts or buying the Spice girls CD)

Thanks L2T and HappyChappy


Thanks for your question HappyChappy, this allows me to go into Literary Parrot Mode ;) To me the fainting robin symbolizes a person in need of help, someone who might be losing faith or hope or who is struggling to hold on. Someone who's strength might be almost gone and who cannot go on no longer, cannot bear the burden no longer or someone who is lost and trying to find their way home or to a new home. Also someone who might have made a mistake and is being defined now by that mistake to the point of being considered a mistake. I also think of a specific bible verse, not because of religion but because it deals with faith and hope and believing in the possibility of a positive outcome:

"I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

A fainting robin might be losing faith, Emily Dickinson also wrote explicitly about faith:
TO lose one’s faith surpasses
The loss of an estate,
Because estates can be
Replenished,—faith cannot.  
Inherited with life,
Belief but once can be;
Annihilate a single clause,
And Being ’s beggary.

When I think of helping the fainting robin unto its nest again, I also think of the parable of the lost sheep because here on PSI we all go home, or no one goes home.

The 'fainting robin' is an interesting analogy because as children of disordered parents, we in many ways get thrown out of the safety of the nest long before we were actually ready to deal with the world. Often we never even really experienced safety even within the nest. Helping the fainting robin unto his nest again then means helping him/her find or create a new nest to be safe, perhaps for the first time.


Well it depends if you also went to a Spice Girls concert ;) I actually liked the Spice Girls and their GIRL POWER  

This is a beautiful implied I statement, Harri. Thank you for reminding me that I can and will become stronger if I do the work to heal and allow the healing process to complete. 

If an analogy were to be a broken bone... .
My pattern is most often to acknowledge the damage and put on the cast but not rest or alter activities (maybe due to urgent situations or survival or putting others’needs ahead of my own) which means I never fully healed in some spots. Thank you for helping me see this.

  L2T

Yes L2T.  Also, remember you are stronger than you know.  You've proven that time and again so grieve, give yourself time to heal, you will come through.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Kwamina.  Beautiful words from a beautiful feathery spirit. 

I can be happy with myself for being my authentic self without taking on the emotions of others. Baby steps are still steps. 

  L2T

I’m worried, I’m scatter-brained and scared. I will get past this. I will reject my frame of reference when it comes to the people that are close to me. I will love and care for them in the way that I envision for myself. I’m grateful for this site. I’ve never once been invalidated or ignored. I think that it would be an epic occurrence if people were able to have these discussions in person.

I am new to this,

I am in control of myself

Hi, quietgirl. I imagine it’s pretty vulnerable being new to things like this. You’re around good people here. You’ve already read around, so you know how it goes around here.

Yes. You are in control of yourself. This is something that we support each other with on here. Sometimes we get away from that control, and the members and staff here are very good at bringing us back. It’s a peer based support group.  

I’m new to this board as well. This is where we heal.

You are all saying some great things.  Thanks for sharing.

I am willing to change patterns of criticism.

I will now choose to support myself in all ways.   

  Love this babyducks. Yes.

  L2T

I can cry when I am sad, hurt, angry or upset.

Yes.  It is okay to share the tears and hurt too.

I define me and my experiences. 

Harri, yes! This makes me smile for you. This is a very powerful statement.

  L2T

Thank you L2T! 

I ride to be free.

Sun warming my body, a breeze against my skin. Breathing in the fresh air. I smile as I observe birds, butterflies, grasshoppers whirling about. Jackrabbits, cottontails and coyotes are everywhere.

Pedals powered by my own muscles, propelling myself forward on this journey. Eyes focused on the path ahead, solving each obstacle as it appears. My heart is steering toward some great adventure.

I am thankful and blessed to be alive.

  L2T

I love my authentic self!

Panda39

My last session with my wonderful counsellor was a recap and reminder of all we'd covered. When I returned home I took a painting I'd just finished and wrote graffiti on it, with the statements

I can. I am. I have. I will.

It also has the words Strength Resilience Determination and Passion emblazoned across it. Now it hangs in my hallway so I see it when I enter or leave my home.

Love and light x

HQ, what a priceless piece of art you’ve made for yourself. So smart! I love it.

  L2T

I love your authentic panda self too!  (this is my positive "I" statement for today!)

I love my bpdfamily.

The sweetness of genuine familial love... .wanting the best for each other and cheering one another on. This place is a refuge and refreshment in the dry desert that life sometimes lays out.

  L2T

I am not defined by how others view me.
I have the freedom and responsibility to define myself.
I am a work in progress.

Libra.

Hi Libra!   

Yes to all you said and it is beautiful to see. 

I am woman hear me roar?

No seriously now... .

I can.

I hear ya Harri, loud and clear:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPQFuUt7AuI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP4KTrlvAA8

I was adorable as a young pup!

(thank you!)   :hi:

Today is a new day to use as I choose.
Today I choose to stand up and use my voice.
Today I will do something nice for myself.
Today I will prepare and share a home cooked meal with my family.
Today I will be honest but kind to myself and others.
Today I will breathe and be ME.
Today is a new day to use as I choose.

  L2T

I appreciated that you did this and I appreciate you too!

Panda39

I believe all of your testimonies and I believe in all of you.

I have power and potential. I will use both of these to do good and be kind to myself and others.

  L2T

You go Girl! 

I will not allow my past to rule me

Like it!   

Panda39

This is a great one, Harri! 

  L2T