BPDFamily.com

Hi all,

I've been away for a few days.  I spent the 3 day weekend taking care of some things around the house.

I bought a new bed frame.  The one I had during my relationship was bought at Goodwill for $40 about 8 years ago.  It was held together by duct tape and ingenuity.  I decided it was time for a change to make my space more my own and not just a hold over of the space I used to share with my ex.  I bought the new bed frame at Big Lots and it is actually made from real, solid wood!  I feel like I've moved up one rung on the white trash ladder!

I also installed a ceiling fan in the bedroom which is something I've pined for in the decade I've lived here.  The ceiling fan matches the new bed frame.  I'm getting all fancy over here.

The instruction manual for both the bed frame and the fan said that installation was a two man job but I did them both as one determined female.  I was apprehensive that I would be able to finish them on my own but I did it like a boss.

I'm learning to take pride in my small triumphs.  I find that when I work on things, I am less troubled by all the arguments in my head.  That's the hidden benefit of working to make my life better and my space more comfortable.

Educated Guess,
That is awesome! It’s awesome enough that you are making your home your own again but to do those “man” things on your own is a great way of reinforcing that you are “enough” and that you will be okay.

It’s also okay for that sense of victory to be mixed with some sadness and even anger. I very distinctly remember replacing the carburetor on our my rototiller.  I needed to till up a flower bed that dBPDxh had allowed to grow over with weeds.  I had a sense of accomplishment so big that I wanted to shout, but instead I burst out in tears. I had done it all by myself, but I shouldn’t have had to.  dBPDxh had left me as broken and neglected as that rototiller and flower bed and that angered me.

That flower bed is now full of roses and lavender and sweet alyssum.

BG

 :hi: Educated_Guess,  good for you!  Sounds like a great idea making the space your own.

I moved out of the home my uBPDh and I owned and into our old family home which had been vacant for a while.  I stripped the bathroom wallpaper, retextured the walls and painted them.  I even built a frame for the big mirror over the sink.  New shower curtain and curtains.  Great therapy.  One bathroom down and just the rest of the house to go, ha ha.

I have my dog here and we have our own routine.  I'm enjoying that a lot.

BG I feel your pain, I grieve over what should have been, too.  Your flowerbed sounds beautiful.  I love growing flowers.  I have geraniums, pentas, Katie's Ruella and morning glories.

BTW Educated_Guess, you are funny! 

Mustbeabetterway