BPDFamily.com

 :help: Hello everyone, thank you for clicking on my post.

Perhaps I'll get it down simply, then add specific details to any and every question?
Any advice is wholeheartedly welcome.

Here we go:

I broke up with my BPD girlfriend around a month ago due to her spending more time on her male friend. She always told me about stuff he'd say and how he was, and not too much all the time, but she clearly didn't hide anything about him since he was only a male friend. So... the usual.
But... from all the things she said, it was clear that he wanted to get between us.
Well, he manipulated her just enough for that to happen.
I knew something was up.
Went in their conversation, and one of the last messages said the following:
(Btw the conversation was about her female and male friend who got together as a couple a few hours after meeting each other after she broke up with her guy)
His reply went this way:

"Yeah that's crazy haha, I mean, I could see us together but how can I know that you dont have feelings for him anymore"

I asked her later if she had gotten any clear signal from this dude regarding his intentions.
She said no. I asked if she was sure, and she said yeah, sure.
Then later that day I confronted her with it.

Now, because she needs male attentions, and needs to feel attractive to feel worth anything at all, she had been making out with some guys at parties during that year.
I had been collecting a ton of knowledge about SO's with BPD and while that wasn't cool on her end at all, I knew that it's because she doesnt want to take her meds. I had faith in the good in her.

Now? She acts like I went on her Facebook for fun, and can't seem to connect the dots of "you cheated in the past I got enough of not knowing what od going on between that dude and you and checked."


So, now I'm painted black, blocked in every possible way.
The thing is that I loved her despite all the bad stuff and still love her now, and I know what kind of people she hangs out with now, and I can simply say that they'll bring her to the bottom as she doesn't have a single person in her life that cares about her well being.


I want to get her back. I want to be there for her. How should I proceed? She ghosted me (is that the correct term?) And I have no way of contacting her.
It seems that she's very rarely alone.
She said that she doesn't care for me at all and doesn't think about it, but I have a strong feeling that she goes out all the time because she thinks of me when alone.

Please ask some questions to get the details you need to help me out here

Right now my main, and probably only good idea, was to leave her alone and maybe contact in a month or two.

I read a lot on this subject and I gotta confess that I even studied some different guides, and while I found one or two to seem very good, none of them focus on people with BPD.

I'M sorry for the formatting but I had to get this all of my chest.

Please, with all due respect - spare me the "you're lucky she blocked you"

Advise on how I can get her back is going to be very appreciated

Hey man, welcome!  :hi:

It's good that you're here, I'm received tons of support and I'm sure that so will you.

For now, since she's blocked you, you cannot do much other that wait. Attempting to reach out to her will only force her to push you further away.

Can I ask you something? You said she had making out with people in parties? What's the context here? Where you guys together when that happened?

Yes of course, feel free to ask me anything if it can help you help me.

The context of her making out at parties:

She has always been very insecure, and seemed validation from guys.
We were in a long distance relationship and had periods of months together too. It never happened when we were together.

how long have the two of you been together in total? how long have you known each other?

you said she cheated previously, do i have that right? what happened, how did you respond, and how long ago in your relationship did it occur?