BPDFamily.com

Hi I’m new here my 24 yr old daughter was disnosed with BPD  over 2 years ago and is still waiting for complex needs which won’t start until June/July she is at present on anti depressants and anti psychotic drugs but also smokes weed she doesn’t work and is on esa and her habit is draining me of finances  she had a troubled relationship with her dad and younger sister and days I’m the only one who she is close to but I’m struggling as she is so nasty to me and I can’t seem to cope at the moment I just need to chat to some one who can relate to what I’m going through  
Thanks

It is so hard to have a child with BPD ! I can relate as I am my daughters target person . I’ve been on this journey for several years and it isn’t easy . Good luck ! I’m hear to listen and to sympathize

Hello Chihuahua mom  :hi:

I join Mamaw in welcoming you here  

I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with and that it's taking so long for your daughter (DD) to get the services she needs. Is she responding well to medication?

As Mamaw says, we are here to listen and offer support, sympathize. Loving a person with BPD (pwBPD) comes with its own set of unique challenges as you are already aware. A strong support system is necessary, you are not alone.

Another thing we offer here is a wealth of information about BPD in the form of articles and workshops, and of course the collective wisdom of other parents who are traveling a similar journey.

Nastiness from a pwBPD can bring a person to their knees; it's often vicious and cruel, and rarely about the person being attacked. It's no surprise you are struggling to cope, most people do! I want you to know, though, that there is hope. Techniques we can learn to help ourselves not get dragged down, skills for communicating differently that have helped members like myself begin to live a more peaceful life.

What brought on the diagnosis? Is she accepting of it? Does she live with you?

Sorry for all the questions, it helps to get a broad picture so we know how best to support you.

I'm glad you've found us, Chihuahua mom, and I look forward to getting to know you. I hope you stick around, get settled, and become part of the family here. For starters, I offer the following link that contains some of the best articles on the site:

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS SITE (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=331689.0)

Again, *welcome*

~ OH

Hi chihuahua mom

I can relate to your story. We took our son back home at 24 following a recent diagnosis. He’s a quiet BPD so doesn’t rage, so it made it tricky to understand when or if he was struggling to cope. There were 4 of us at home and I understand what a nightmare it can be for all the family,

Have you read up about BPD? That was the first thing I did. It helped me not react as he couldn’t help how he behaved. Then I got myself armed up with a toolkit of skills to help me interact with him. This forum has changed my life. That’s a big statement for me to make but it’s the truth.

Son24 was stuck in his room, not speaking, really depressed and non functioning. He refused treatment.

Faced with the real possibility of having to keep our adult child in our home forever and financially supporting him - I took action and started to be the parent he needed, not the one I thought I was supposed to be. To behave like an adult, they need to be treated like one.

It sounds so easy doesn’t it, but we know that they can’t be an adult. They’ll fail. They need us to help them. They can’t even take care of themselves so how can they be expected to get up each morning and go to work or college. Without us, they can’t even remember to do simple things. Any of this sound familiar?

Chihuahua mom, if your situation isn’t working, then it’s up to you to change. Your daughter can’t change, she’s got BPD.

We can help you. If you stick around here and do what’s needed then your situation can improve. Understand though that there are no quick fixes and it takes lots of baby steps.

My son is now 28. He works full time and likes his job, he lives close by. When he needs emotional support he comes to us. He learns how to problem solve himself. We are happier, we have a better relationship despite the problems, his BPD traits are there but he’s learning to find a way to live. There’s hope.

I know that feeling about not being able to cope. Those real fears about the future can be overwhelming too. My son smokes skunk and it was a big problem for us to deal with. We lost all our savings. Sounds crazy doesn’t it.

Has your daughter ever worked?

LP

Hi Chihuahua mom

Along with friends I welcome you  :hi: I'm glad you've reached out for support and to chat with family here, you are not alone.   

I'm sorry to hear you are waiting for treatment, I know how excruciating that is, hang in there, we had to wait come a year for DBT and parents here helped me through the most difficult and overwhelming of times when my then 26DD was in crisis. Today my 30DD is gently preparing herself for part time work, she's managing her BPD, her meds are working for her. With others I want to share with you there is hope, our situations can improve if we make the necessary changes.

We've got you. 

WDx