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Title: Update Post by: FaithHopeLove on March 21, 2019, 03:00:47 AM I have been away for a week enjoying my stepdaughter's destination wedding in the sunny Dominican Republic. It was a great time. My DS24XPWBPD did not attend which was sad but just as well
I don't think he would have handled it well Too triggering after his breakup with his gd of 8 years plus his social anxiety. The good news is there was no crisis while we were away just light and positive "enjoy yourselves" texts. The not so great news is when we returned we discovered he is hanging out with a so called friend who is a cocaine addict and has proven in the past that he cannot be trusted. When I told my son to be careful with this person he got upset. Then he texted me that he is very lonely and has no other friends (probably not literally true but that is how he feels) and this person is the only one willing to hang out with him. I feel worried and sad. Title: Re: Update Post by: Only Human on March 21, 2019, 08:48:07 AM Welcome back, Faith!
I'm glad you had a great time in the sun! And no crises while you were away is excellent news! Excerpt Then he texted me that he is very lonely and has no other friends (probably not literally true but that is how he feels) and this person is the only one willing to hang out with him. I feel worried and sad. I know that worried and sad feeling - my DD occasionally laments about having no friends. She told me she stayed with her loser husband because he was the only person who stuck with her. She says the same about her loser boyfriend now. The good news is, as she is growing, her choice of friends is improving. The loser BF is less of a loser than the loser husband. I'm glad to see you back here, Faith. ~ OH Title: Re: Update Post by: stampingt1 on March 25, 2019, 02:13:20 AM Glad that you were able to enjoy the wedding & some sun. Self-care is very important. It's good that there were not any incidents while you were away.
I totally understand your feelings about the friend that he is hanging around with. Hopefully that will be short lived & he'll find a different friend that is "healthier" for him. Good Luck! Title: Re: Update Post by: Lollypop on March 25, 2019, 02:43:22 AM Hi Faith
Sunshine, sand and relaxation - sounds perfect to me. Plus positive texts from son24. That’s to be celebrated. I can totally relate to your concern. My son28 has behaved exactly the same. Eventually, something happens and the friendship strains and then breaks. Slowly, he’s recognising real friendships and there’s very few and they live away (perhaps that’s why they’ve sustained!). I never criticise the people he hangs with. I used to. But what happened is that he’d start holding things back from me because he knew I’d disapprove. Knowledge is power. As much as it hurts, I’d rather know and I totally know how difficult it is to not raise even an eyebrow. Even the slightest thing is noticed by him! You’ve had a great holiday. There were no dramas. This is something to really celebrate! Your son is growing and he continues to make decisions (sometimes they are mistakes, that’s how he learns). His friendships are not in your control. He’s an adult. Of course, you’ll be there if he needs you emotionally - he’s lucky to have you! LP Title: Re: Update Post by: FaithHopeLove on March 25, 2019, 06:44:49 AM Thank you all for your encouraging words. I am starting to believe things are slowly getting better with my son and the rest of the family as well.
Title: Re: Update Post by: Mirsa on March 25, 2019, 07:29:24 PM So glad to hear you had a wonderful week of celebration with your family.
I observe that my daughters' friends reflect how they feel about themselves...if they feel good, they attract happy/positive people; when they don't feel good, they attract needy/desperate/negative/abusing people. Those people come and go, so I just try to focus on having them keep trying to grow and build themselves up internally. Seems to be working, slowly but surely. |