BPDFamily.com

Hi! My counselor suggested I join an online support group. I found y'all through searching one of the author's of Stop Walking on Eggshells...
I filed for divorce back in November but was unable to move out until January. Since I have moved out he has begun attacking my character (to my employer, called CPS, even had me picked up and detained on a mental health warrant). He has brainwashed our 7 1/2 year old son. How do you get through this without becoming the crazy person they are saying you are? BTW I am a Special Education teacher and concerned they are not going to renew my probationary contract because I've had to miss so much work the end of this year due to things out of my control. (I am on a probationary contract because this is my 1st year back teaching since having my son.)
How do I do damage control? I am feeling overwhelmed!

Read the book "splitting" and cover your ass. Record calls, setup cameras, record conversations, keep emails / text messages. You'll need them at some point.

Hello TiredOftheCrazy and welcome,
You are not alone believe me, exBPD fabricated numerous items against me, all blew back up in her face.  Here are some of my tips that have worked for me:
1.  Set up a new email account just for communicating with ex. Pick a time during the day when you can read the emails alone, so in case you have to vent such as going for a walk, etc you can.  Answer only questions that pertain to the child or what you attorney tells you to.  Try to keep all communication through email, text, only, this helped me a lot.
2.  Interview and hire a good lawyer, don't be afraid to change lawyers.
3.  Be there for your kids, and talk with them daily.
4.  For your work situation I would also supply HR with paperwork about my court hearings.  Inform them that you will work extra, pick up extra task to make up for it.

We are all hear for you, and some of our members are really good, turkish, kells76, LivedNLearn, just to name a few.

Hi, Tiredofthecrazy,
I'm glad you found us, but I am sorry for what you are going through. That sounds very stressful. Do you have a good attorney to help you through the divorce process?

A good place to start is to get the book Splitting: Protecting Yourself When Divorcing an NPD/BPD Spouse, by Bill Eddy. That book is highly recommended on this board.

Redeemed

How did he have you picked up on a mental health warrant, for what? That sounds scary.  Are you cleared from that?

*welcome*

I found this site exactly the same way.  My life is to much richer, calmer and I am much more confident of my future as a result of being on this site.

I'm going to join Turkish in asking for more details on the warrant thing and where that process is at.

I'm positive we can help guide you.  I'm so glad you have a counselor that pointed you here.

FF

An immense help is learning how to address the behaviors.  In time you'll find you will be caught off guard and unprepared less often.  And you will become more familiar with time-tested strategies — we've been there and done that, so walking in our footsteps helps guide you to practical solutions — that work far better than hopes and impractical expectations.

Also, prioritize.  Your children and their lives are most important but you and your parenting need protecting also.  As the old airline lecture goes, "In the event of an emergency put on your own oxygen mask first before trying to help others."  Frankly, when you accept that you're facing a parent who has made himself or herself an enemy, you can't afford to allow them the ability to sabotage you or your parenting.  And trying to show the court or others how overly-fair or overly-nice you are can end up granting the other too much power over you.  Another saying, "The person behaving poorly seldom gets consequences and the parent behaving wll seldom gets credit."