BPDFamily.com

Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Frankee on May 16, 2019, 02:24:47 PM



Title: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Frankee on May 16, 2019, 02:24:47 PM
A quick check in.  I had an interview today as a caregiver at a Home Health Care facility.  I am not sure what hours yet and the pay is a little less than I am making now.  However!  There is a possibility to get full time or work my current job and that one as part times if I can coordinate the schedules.  And it will give me the experience that will give me a boost up when I do get my Nursing degree.  I did serious networking and applied to many many different job opening around the city.  This one seems like it will be a good fit!


I will check in again when I am not at work.  Love everyone's help and advice.  Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity. 


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Cat Familiar on May 16, 2019, 04:03:06 PM
This is great, Frankee. A job like this could work well with your schooling. Depending upon the client, you could possibly have a lot of free time to read and work on your classwork.

Some elderly people with dementia will take a lot of energy and need a lot of assistance beyond the norm, but with other clients, you might just need to prepare a meal, do a bit of cleanup and watch over them while they nap. It could certainly prepare you for what you might experience working in a hospital setting.


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Frankee on May 18, 2019, 04:12:39 PM
I also got a call yesterday from a very well known hotel that is very large and fancy.  It is also said to be haunted and is at least a 100 years old.  That would be awesome opportunity for more growth in the hospitality business and if it works out right, I could do that and the caregiver position, of course working part time at each.  I have an interview with them tomorrow.

I feel very good with the two job interviews in less than a week apart.  It is nice to have a couple other options open so I can figure out the best route to go.  I really am keeping my fingers crossed the caregiver position will call back soon so I can plan around that job.  That is the one I want most.

This is a blessing.  I will be able to pay off my debts faster, get my youngest back into daycare, start going back to the gym, my oldest will be gone most of the summer, I may be able to finally get my own vehicle, and I can focus on getting my schedule for Fall classes, and renewing my financial aid.

I was going to add about my bph, but I want to keep it focused on the positive for now.  I am feeling better and I want to keep the momentum moving forward.


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Cat Familiar on May 18, 2019, 04:39:12 PM
As things fall into place, and you get more financially stable, you will be feeling a lot less stressed. That will give you a better ability to remain centered and calm in dealing with your husband.

Whatever you choose to do in your future about your relationship--whether you decide to leave or perhaps work to make things better, you two will be connected for many years because of your children. Though you don't have to make any of those decisions now, it would be helpful to work on improving your communication, for the sake of your kids.


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: I Am Redeemed on May 19, 2019, 01:01:40 PM
I also got a call yesterday from a very well known hotel that is very large and fancy.  It is also said to be haunted and is at least a 100 years old.

That sounds super cool. I love watching those shows about places like that!
I have an interview with them tomorrow.

How did the interview go?

Redeemed



Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Frankee on May 19, 2019, 03:52:40 PM
Interview went really well.  Wish I felt better about it.  My bph has managed to rain on my parade. 

On the way, he was saying he doesn't know if he wants me working at that hotel.  He was saying stuff about how easy it would be to cheat and have an affair.  I reassured him he didn't have anything to worry about, I would never do that.  He was having a bad day btw.  He hit a curb pulling up and screamed, go get your F*** job.  I reassured him again, took a moment to let him that everything was going to be okay.

On the way home.  He made snide comments about how I didn't know how to answer those people when I told him a couple of my answers.  I said I may have to work nights sometimes.  He threw in the "what, so you can F*** somebody?" And quickly followed up with we shouldn't be talking about this right now, I said okay.

I didn't feel like starting a fight or getting into a huge deal, so I just let it go.

I would like the caregiver job, but if this job is going to give me the financial freedom I need right away, I may end up there.


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Cat Familiar on May 19, 2019, 06:27:03 PM
Good work letting those unkind remarks go. 

You reassured him about your intentions and you left it there. It’s his job to deal with his insecurity and by addressing it and not getting upset about what he said, you kept things from getting argumentative. 


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: I Am Redeemed on May 19, 2019, 06:40:37 PM
Good for you, I hope you get the one you want, or both!

It's good that he recognized that it was not a conversation to be having at the time, and you didn't push to keep engaging with him about it. 


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Frankee on May 21, 2019, 06:51:03 AM
The caregiver job emailed me.  Said at this time, they need additional  staff with experience.

I am keeping my fingers double crossed for the hotel  job.  If they turn me down, That's going to be really sad.  I am already bummed about the caregiver because I wanted that job the most.

I tried to remember JADE last night.  He went off an a tangent.  Really steamed me.  He was just so upset that we were doing good and then my "attitude" showed up. 

I really wanted to let him have him and tell him what a royal @$$hole he was being.. but the kids were right there.  He wanted to start this whole argument right in front of the kids.  I told him I am not doing this in front of the kids and I need to get them to bed.

I am also being more aware of the emotional abuse he is dishing out.  I did some research and I know that the things he says and his behavior towards me, is just such the case.  His behavior in the car on the way to my job interview.  His behavior last night where he bashed me about not helping him.  Truth of the fact, I am becoming more conscious of how I know I deserve to be treated and he is never going to really stop his emotional abuse.


Title: Re: Definitely feeling more upbeat with this potential job opportunity.
Post by: Cat Familiar on May 21, 2019, 09:54:33 AM
I'm sorry that you didn't get that job. If you persist and keep the door open, you could contact them again in a few weeks. People who really want the job can often get it.

It's not in your best interests to argue with him. Good that you didn't participate in front of the kids.

Best not to try and tell him that you think he's a royal A, even though you do. He's not going to learn anything from hearing that and it only would serve to increase his resentment. Even though it might feel good for you to express it, as you know from experience, it would further ramp up his anger, and you don't need that.

No one deserves to be treated unkindly and it's possible that, with effort, he could change his ways. The best way is not to engage him in doing that behavior yourself, since you know that no good will come of it.