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Title: BPD son is on drugs and driving Post by: FaithHopeLove on June 08, 2019, 02:10:22 AM My DS at whom I am currently very angry, has a car that he bought which is under my H's name. DS has only a learners permit not a license. He is on drugs and drives under the influence. Of course this means he gets into lots of accidents
My H acknowledges it was a huge mistake allowing him to put his name on the car. The question is what to do now. H says he is going to take the keys away until DS at least gets a license. Meanwhile I am staying out of it. But the worry is taking its toll on me. I can't eat and keep losing weight that I don't want to lose. I keep crying. I will see my T today. Please pray for me or send good thoughts or whatever is your practice. Thanks. Title: Re: BPD son is on drugs and driving Post by: stampingt1 on June 08, 2019, 03:08:52 AM FHLKC,
So sorry for this current situation! I agree that H needs to take the keys away before someone gets hurts or killed. I would be a worried wreck, too. Sending prayers for everyone. Hope seeing your T will help! Stampingt1 Title: Re: BPD son is on drugs and driving Post by: PeaceMom on June 08, 2019, 06:49:24 AM Faith,
We let our adult son transfer the car into his name. He obtained his own insurance. We were not willing to be legally involved if he had a wreck or got a DWI. I can tell from all your posts that you are quite sensible, but that not addressing the illegal, dangerous parts of your DS’s life are causing your great stress. I understand these feelings. We are not responsible for what they do in the world, but we do NOT have to be tied to it. Does he pay the note on car? His insurance? Can you find an Alanon or Naranon group? The drug dependency may be taking his behavior to a whole new level of dysfunction and instability that many here seem not to deal with in their loved ones. I’m sending you a hug and reminding you that you are in crisis and my T would say go back to the minimal basics of self care. eat sleep breathe move... Hugs from Texas Title: Re: BPD son is on drugs and driving Post by: FaithHopeLove on June 08, 2019, 07:34:31 AM Peace mom
Just to be clear him having this car was NOT my idea. It was my husband's doing which he now bitterly regrets. We have suggested therapy, rehab, NA everything. Our son rejects them all. Title: Re: BPD son is on drugs and driving Post by: PeaceMom on June 08, 2019, 07:55:36 AM Hi Faith,
I was not ok with my son having the car either, but preferred to transfer title to him outright rather than have my name on a car he was driving (possibly after drinking). It offered relief to me which is all I am trying to do. My support group Families Anonymous is very similar to Alanon and we have gained so much wisdom about the mind of an addict and how to protect ourself. It is a tough, scary situation. Sure enough after we transferred car title and told him we would not pay insurance (he bought his own cheap policy), he got a DWI. He’s dealing with that now. Life could be easier for him, but he continues doing things the hard way. The Serenity prayer is my Radical Acceptance. I hope you get a bit of relief this weekend, Faith |