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I'm just wondering if anyone else sees more specific traits of their BPD loved one? My DD has some incredibly OCD traits that I have a hard time dealing with. We've talked about the root cause many times and although it all comes back to her not feeling good enough, there are lots of side issues that enter her head.

For instance, she cleans. She cleans as what she calls relief for her anxiety. It calms her. Problem is that it's really, really obsessive. You can't put anything down somewhere and leave it for very long or she'll pick it up and "put it away" even if "away" is not where you keep it. Yikes. A freshly washed floor is Fear Factor for me. Do I walk on it? Not walk on it? One day it's silly, sure, walk on it I can clean it again later/tomorrow. Next day I'm a filthy slob for making her freshly washed floor so gross and disgusting.

Let me be clear, we don't live together. When she visits it's from quite a distance and she often stays many weeks, even a couple of months at a time. Every day she gets up and starts cleaning. I still work, my husband is retired, disabled and quite ill. She rages on to me about how he does nothing, just makes a mess, is lazy etc. etc. He has trouble reaching for things, and can't bend over at all due to mobility issues, yet she will put things out of reach because she can't stand them being left out where he can get to them. I come home and find my cupboards or closets rearranged. I can't find anything in my own house and if I say anything, I get "I'm just trying to help!" and it goes downhill from there. She's not appreciated. I'm lazy. He's a pig and me having to do everything is going to kill me. Why did I want to be with him? I shouldn't have a relationship at all if it takes me away from my children's needs. (another WHOLE post and issue!) Doing things myself, my way, takes me away from her. In fact doing anything I want to do, or need to do, that doesn't mesh with her idea of what or where or when creates a huge issue. Yesterday I said I was going to stop by the store on the way home. No mom...come straight home. We don't need that. I'll go tomorrow. I need you.

It's all very her way or the highway...no matter what. I can't restrict the length of her visits because she takes that as rejection. I live between a rock and hard place every minute of every day.

Anyone else have people in their life that have severe obsessive behavior?

Hi Tamismom :hi:

My DD26 is definitely obsessive about certain things - I can relate! She's recently taken up gardening and tends to her little potted plants constantly. The downside is, when things aren't growing, she gets super frustrated. Sounds similar to your daughter - when things are clean, she feels comfortable. When things are out of place, she's anxious. That it's taking place in your home, and inconveniencing you and your DH must be exhausting!

"Between a rock and a hard place" is a common address here, we are all dealing with such intense behaviors, you are not alone.

I'm short on time (I'm at work!) but wanted to let you know I've read your post and I can relate. I've read a few of your other posts and want you to know I'm glad you are here. Things can get better. It's not easy and nothing happens overnight, but we are all learning together, supporting each other. I'm glad you've joined us

~ OH

Unfortunately, I’m extremely well educated about Bipolar mania -some of the OCD behavior can be part of a manic or hypo manic cycle. Has she been diagnoses w/BP? Is she medicated? Lithium has been helpful to my 2nd DS w/BP1.
Also, I will share personally that I see a functional medicine M.D. due to the stress here at home. I was getting a bit OCD and she suggested Magnesium and NAC supplements for me. Are we even allowed to mention supplements here? I may get reprimanded:/

Could you DD ask about these supplements. I feel they are the only thing keeping me stable and off anti-depressants.