BPDFamily.com

Hello,
I took me daughter to the local behavioral hospital for an evaluation. I’ve been trying to get my daughter into residential treatment and really wanted a doctor to intercede and help me admit my daughter to a DBT certified facility located nearby. Their admissions advised me that they want to see an MD assist or see some recent hospitalizations. We described the lying, the stealing, substance abuse, fighting and running away, behaviors that have really escalated since May, and the MD refused to entertain the idea of residential treatment and recommended 10 whole days of daily 5 hour group sessions instead. We have done that twice, the last time in 2016. Useless.  My daughter was incensed that we took her and gloated all the way home how she “won” and she wasn’t doing sh—! Now, I don’t know what to do next. Who would think it would be so difficult to get a minor child with so many behavioral issues into an intensive treatment program? While we mull around what needs to happen after that door was slammed in our faces, can anyone tell me about therapeutic boarding schools or boot camps or anything that you may have tried with your child that made an actual difference? What were the costs?
Thanks

Hi.

Offt!  That sounds so frustrating.  I am sorry you are dealing with all of this and finding the doctors generally unhelpful.

I am looking for other threads we have on residential treatment centers that may be helpful to you.  I know it is not the same as talking with someone though.  Let's see what we can find though.

How to pick an RTC (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=196049.0)

Critical Review | Sunrise RTC: Residential Treatment Center for Teen Girls (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=316062.0)

Residential Treatment? (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=125499.0)

I hope these links give some helpful info.

First question: are you in the US? Makes a difference. My comments will be strictly for US stuff.

Sometimes it's not the MD that's the impediment. it's the insurance company. After my daughter's last suicide attempt, the short-term facility she was in was just able to keep her for 10 days, then do the 5 hour IOP thing for a week or so. This was with both them and I negotiating with the insurance company for more care.

I was going to use her college fund and pay cash to send her to a facility that was recommended by her then therapist (who was very helpful). I found a few, but the wait for a bed was going to be 2-3 months, at a cost of about $9-10K/month, which I was willing to pay at that time. The two I found that could get her in with a shorter wait, were going to be about $20-25K/Month, but they required her to be there at least three months, possible for 6.

That was just my experience, I've noticed several folks on here who's child was in for 6 months to a year, and I've always wondered how they were able to make that happen.

I look forward to seeing more responses.

I am in the US and live in IL. Maybe I was wrong but I declined the offer to have her sit in a PHP for 6 hours playing pin the feeling on the tulip with kids with Facebook issues ( my apologizies. I've beyond had it trying to figure out how they came to the conclusion that this is going to help AT ALL especially since we've done it twice - see definition of insanity) She is now convinced more than ever that there is nothing wrong with her behavior. All normal...drinking, smoking, and selling drugs..see mom. Even the DOCTOR said it's no big deal! I slept on it and am feeling no better about things but still mulling over options and have been researching other pathways to get her where she needs to go. My sincere hope is she'll reach that conclusion on her own but I don't really think that will happen.

We did a six week residential program that was about three hours from our house. The insurance paid for it and it was pretty helpful.

  smomruby - what program was that?

https://discoverymood.com/

smomruby - did you D go willingly? 

Pretty much, yes. We had a couple weeks on waiting list when she was refusing to go, and we weren't sure what she would say the day we got the call to go. She wasn't super thrilled about the idea but knew she needed help. The day we got the call she was mad and cried and freaked out but the next day she got in the car willingly. It is a voluntary program, so they can't make them stay and it's not locked down. They said kids need to buy into the program so if after a few days they aren't participating they would send them home.

Does your daughter still show the benefits of the 6-week stay?

Hi.
Did you find a school for your daughter?
I just hired an educational consultant to search for me. She sounded very experienced in placing kids who have bpd traits. We've made all the changes we could to her environment but her riskiness is increasing. It's like gambling - will they mature out of it or will we regret not getting her intense help as early as possible.