Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Lola B on September 12, 2019, 06:11:00 PM

Title: Gaslighting
Post by: Lola B on September 12, 2019, 06:11:00 PM
This is not my first post, but I don't know how to post new ventings.

I feel a bit like I can't type the words because I shouldn't speak this way about my kid. And sometimes she is "normal". And sometimes she is a rage monster. And sometimes she is a vicious animal. And sometimes she's a liar and gaslighter.

I just caught her being all of the worst above qualities. She twisted my words to a friend so her parents treat me like I'm insane and dangerous, which is ironic. She gaslit me about what family says about me. My father encouraged me to get a restraining order against her but she is only 19 and her father is her first abandoner. There is another thing I'm forgetting because I have a brain injury due to her driving me home from work (because I gave her the car for the day since she was off from school) when we got T-boned and I ended up in hospitals for 3 months. She blames me for her senior year being ruined and her having to go through the trauma of her mom maybe dying alone. That is because all my friends and family members couldn't handle her. I have been recovering my cognition, memory, and body for almost 2 years while my BPD or complex trauma kid has gotten worse and worse.

There are no words to comfort me. My brain injury causes increased impulsivity, so I attempted to take my life when thinking about growing older with this lunatic that I sometimes love like my kid and sometimes shake my head and think this is a horror movie. It didn't succeed (obviously), and the meds for impulsivity and depression make me eat more than I'm used to or comfortable with because I have a lot of scar tissue in my guts because of the car accident.

So, I am broke, broken, brain-injured, unemployed awaiting disability appeal, in litigation, single and broken hearted, my body fails me and I'm getting heavy.

Work was how I felt productive and valuable, given my home life, and now I can't even drive. I've lost my network, most of my friends, she has scared away 2 former partners, and recently I attempted suicide (not around her) after relentless viciousness.

Short of a miracle, don't offer links or numbers, please. My family is insane but pitching in, I'm on meds and followed closely, kid is on meds, followed, and refuses to acknowledge BPD.

I am coming back as a dog with a giant bladder and a strong thirst so I can pee on everyone who I sense is an a$$.

Title: Re: Gaslighting
Post by: Harri on September 12, 2019, 08:30:19 PM
Hi Lola. 

I can hear the frustration and sadness and the anger too.  I'm sitting here thinking of what a struggle it must be and how frustrating it must be for you.   It is okay to feel these feelings and express them about your daughter when you need to.  It can help as long as it is not ongoing right? 

I won't offer you links or numbers.   :)  What I will ask is for you to tell us how we can help you short of working a miracle as you said.

Title: Re: Gaslighting
Post by: SadtimesAZ on September 12, 2019, 09:07:34 PM
Sorry to hear that. Your daughter is an adult now so your only option is involuntary commitment. I tried with my wife but she just lied and got released the same day and went right back to it. I know someone else in a situation like that with her adult daughter who blames everything on mom. My ex wife blames everything on me. You have to set boundaries and stick to them whatever you are comfortable with. That's really all you can do.

Title: Re: Gaslighting
Post by: FaithHopeLove on September 13, 2019, 12:42:02 AM
Hi Lola
I join Harri in agreeing to respect your request not to send links or numbers and in standing by ready to offer any help or support that I can. You are not alone. People care.