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Title: Am I doing this wrong? Post by: blackorchid on September 21, 2019, 03:39:04 PM Hi
my upBPD split 6 weeks ago and moved out of our apartment 3.5 weeks ago. In the interim I was in England for my sisters wedding and his family were visiting. They are always a trigger for him and as I was so busy for the wedding, I went very LC and only responded to messages from him. Any other messages were met with severe hostility. In the past when I messaged him when he was like this it always ended up with me being blocked across all social media platforms. So this has also led to my silence this time. When he messages I respond. I dont plead or beg as I have in the past. I called when I arrived home and found he had moved out. But after being home a few hours. It was very late and he answered, strangely, immediately. Then I didnt hear from him for over a week. He has been to the house 3 times. I havent pleaded or begged. He says we're just friends so i say ok, however you want. In the messages when he says we're just friends, you know we're over, we can never be good together etc I just say ok thats what you think I cant change it or something to that attire. Tonight he has messaged me. How is your life is everything ok? I said yes, yours he said yes you are different, i liked it. i said different how? He said you dont disturb me. Do you have a new relationship? Are you seeing someone? I said you dont want me to disturb you or contact you, so I am respecting that. No i dont. he said, normally when we split up, you called me or message me but this time is different , thats why im asking, maybe you believed me that we can never have a good relationship. I replied I know it only makes you angry when I do these things, so I dont. Im controlling myself not to do it. he said its better we're friends. I said thats what you want. He said this month I am relaxed and happy because noone makes me angry, Whatever then he went on to ask about our dog I said shes ok and sent a photo. he said I miss her hug her from me good night I said she misses you too you can always see her, shes your dog too. he said no shes yours. i said no he said I gave her to you i said she doesnt know that. he hasnt responded have I gone too LC and he thinks I dont care? :help: sorry for all the he said i said, just wanted to show a typical convo Title: Re: Am I doing this wrong? Post by: once removed on September 21, 2019, 07:18:11 PM Excerpt have I gone too LC and he thinks I dont care? i dont think its that. hes certainly noticed that youre not pursuing him. whether thats giving him second thoughts is difficult to say. hes reaching out a bit, i think its wise to keep cool and not over read it. Title: Re: Am I doing this wrong? Post by: blackorchid on September 22, 2019, 01:48:55 AM Ok. Thank you.
Title: Re: Am I doing this wrong? Post by: Stillhopeful4 on September 23, 2019, 09:28:14 AM Hi Blackorchid,
I'm going to agree with Once Removed. It sounds like you going low contact is working. You can't doing things to bother him and piss him off, so he's not as angry with you. I agree, just keep doing what you are doing, keep it low key and let him come to you! ((Hugs) I know it's very hard. YOU are doing some great work. Don't doubt yourself! SH4 Title: Re: Am I doing this wrong? Post by: blackorchid on September 25, 2019, 06:20:09 AM Thank you SH4
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