BPDFamily.com

Unbeleivable. /this is dumpsterdog..I have a three year history on BPD family ...I've typed so many pages, I cant even find them on here any more...but for anyone who has kepta breast of my nightmare...I have been away from her for over a year. moved to a new state got a new job...bought a new house..completely moved on ...and lo and behold...just as predicted...one night a few weeks ago , out of the blew.. I get a hysterical scream crying phone call.. " I miss you so mush I need your help please help Me"...she cried...
psychodrama...

 She is about to lose her house due to not paying taxes and HOA assessments,, and needs the tidy sum of $10,oo. or she might be out on the street... my initial thought was.. " call somebody else who cares ".   but I did not say that.

INstead I told her I would help...but not with money. I began to write letters and contact lawyers and HOA managers and collections agencies , and worked out deals with these folks so they would allow her to pay the back debt, and keep her house. I then told her to start making payments and good luck. She has tried to stay in touch since then. My response has been..." if you miss me and want to chat once in a while thats, ok... but if you only want to use me whenever you get in trouble , and the then toss me  again. that isnt fair , and I am not interested in that arrangement"...And so far she has been staying in touch somewhat, I have not actually spoken to her on the phone, because her sweet voice slays me and I am not going to get sucked back in...so I've just been one or two word responding to her texts.. and then staying invisible until she texts again,,effectively allowing her to be the pursuer again. I just cant figure out what turned her around... At once point, manhy months agaon, she told me " I've moved on please do not contact me"..so I didn't ...In the worst way I want to ask her " what about all those other guys you were seeing while we were living together . where'd they go"...but deep down , I know...they dumped her crazy mug at the first sign of crazy...and now she realizes I was actually someone who cared...but I'm still stuck with the fact that she treated me soo awfull, that I can never in good conscious have an intimate relationship ( sloppy seconds ) again...I guess I kind of am enjoying her in pursuit and me knowing I'll never let her back in.

Thoughts.

I just went back and read a few of your original posts.

Wow...

So what is your plan? Are you just going to keep it to just texting?

Do you think there is the slightest possibility she could suck you back in?

Is it pursuit, or is it need on her part?

What is your need? I get the validation, but what do you need apart from her?

Thanks for the replies...fortunately. I finally arrived at a point in life where i " need " nothing. I have a great job that I really enjoy, own my own home,  and am back to doing me full time. It felt good to " be the better person " and help her through a tough spot.. however I am definately not angling for a way back in...her perception was always that she " took me back "...every other time we parted ways...I really have no intention to try and build a new love relationship with her...the only potential crack in the woodwork is that I was planning to go back to Las Vegas next summer to take a couple of courses at UNLV, and now that I'm back in good shape both mentally and emotinally, or course she has offered I can stay with her when I come back to VEgas for the summer ( but my dog isnt welcome at her house...what a bi%%h )...However I am now smart enough to know I dont think I want to be her " man " every again I think I will just fend for myself and my dog and not succumb to her offer, because I know she will have unreal expectations, and will just suck the life out me again...no thanks.

This journey started in 2011 , so its been an 8 year ride, exhilerating , exciting , dangerous , sexy, and mindblowing...but i think i've decided to get off the ride and let it go on without me... I survived, and I will never forget it, and I am forever changed...maybe for the better ...at any rate..." aint wasting no more time " as the Allman brothers sang.

I think that’s a good plan. I would imagine one hit and you could very well get sucked back in.

Imagine all that hard work you have done possibly going right down the drain.

Stay strong