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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: Yoke on October 06, 2019, 04:07:54 AM



Title: i just have to live with it and hope it wont hurt so much
Post by: Yoke on October 06, 2019, 04:07:54 AM
Mod note: This post was split from the following thread as it merited its own discussion: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339870.0

@Venicebeach.. Hi and welcome here . Am so sorry to hear what u have been through also. My ex brokeup with me 15 times, i was always the one coming back after her. She disappeared with an textmessage full of awful words, left her engagementring on the table and disappeared in May.. 3 months i cried like a baby, felt my heart was ripped out, thinking of comitt suicide..my summervaccation, all our future plans i had with her, plans we made together.. all that she took away from me. You are right.. they are dangerous, unpredictable,  loving, caring, hateful, jelaous, beautiful- all in a huge mess... am sorry for you, i understand your pain.. it has gone 5 months since she disappeared.. and now.. i dont cry every day, i try to rebuild myself, theraphy, try find the will to move on in life, find a reason to live.. it will take time. Do i miss her, do my heart aches for her still? Every every day... i think i will never forget her, us, or how she crushed me..i just have to live with it and hope it wont hurt so much ..@Venicebeach.. how was your story with your ex? How did u meet and when did u realize something was not right? And what reasons did she have for beaking up every 5 times?


Title: Re: Back to uni, saw my ex
Post by: Venicebeach on October 06, 2019, 07:34:31 PM
@yoke.....hey bosss I am sooooooo sorry this has happened to you!!! I totally get you though!!! hang in there man!!! It does get better!!! Yu have to keep reminding yourself that it was all a lie!!! That person that you think who she is....really is not there!!! It was all a facade!!! She said those things and did all that love bomb because she had A NEED!!!! Just think of all the stuff she said (I love you and blah blah blah...but at the time she treated you like crap and let you go all those times). a person who loves you the right way will never do anything like that to hurt you!!! I know its tough to swallow.... but just think of it this way....we dodged a BIG BULLET. there are people her that got married or engaged and then they take off!!!! I know it hurts! I am here for you man!! I still wake up in the morning with a hurt in my stomach. But I know it will go away with time!!! For me .....the thing that broke the camels back and I can't not accept..... is that in her last break up text she basically turned her back on my daughter and said that she is Drama and that she (ex BPD) doesn't have the energy or patience for living with someone like that....and that she wants a stress free and drama free life"!!! That really sucks. This is totally Talionic thinking on her part (which BPD's do). My daughter is my world. But hang in there man. You are doing real good!!! You deserve the best!!!!! you okay???


Title: Re: Back to uni, saw my ex
Post by: Venicebeach on October 06, 2019, 07:45:16 PM
Yoke...btw....i forgot to say that all the break ups were due to....according to her....lack of communication. LOL. Now analyzing all the break ups....they were all really due to her attention issues and fear of abandonment issues. its like nothing was ever good enough for her. She was just like totally jealous of my daughter or me not being at her house 24/7. But to be honest she had narcissistic traits also.....emotional abuse (manipulations, silent treatments on purpose, making me work overtime i tried to get back with her, needing me to put her on pedestal, etc). She always made me feel guilty for not taking her out to dinner (Which i did) or guilt for not taking her on trips (which i did) or guilt for not booking nice hotels (which i did) or guilt for not spending more time with her (which i did). Crazy !!! It was getting old! Did soon much for her!!! Didn't get anything in return like that from her. It was just give me give me!!!! Stay strong bro!!!!!


Title: Re: i just have to live with it and hope it wont hurt so much
Post by: Yoke on October 07, 2019, 01:02:30 AM
@Venicebeach. Thanx  woow you have such anger in your texting. I do feel the same as u do about the crap she put me through.. the pain and the mess she left me with. Totally broken into pieces. Am not okay.. far from it.. but i try move foward every single day.

Excerpt
emotional abuse (manipulations, silent treatments on purpose, making me work overtime i tried to get back with her, needing me to put her on pedestal, etc). She always made me feel guilty for not taking her out to dinner (Which i did) or guilt for not taking her on trips (which i did) or guilt for not booking nice hotels (which i did) or guilt for not spending more time with her (which i did). Crazy !!! It was getting old! Did soon much for her!!! Didn't get anything in return like that from her. It was just give me give me!!!! " - all that , i also went through..  i cant belive that i could accept it, but both you and me did @Venicebeach... crazy, huh? But all we did, was to love them so much! ...


Title: Re: Back to uni, saw my ex
Post by: pest947 on October 07, 2019, 08:12:09 PM
is that in her last break up text she basically turned her back on my daughter and said that she is Drama and that she (ex BPD) doesn't have the energy or patience for living with someone like that....and that she wants a stress free and drama free life"!!! That really sucks. This is totally Talionic thinking on her part (which BPD's do). My daughter is my world. But hang in there man. You are doing real good!!! You deserve the best!!!!! you okay???

Not to laugh at your situation but to laugh with you....lol...What she just said...Drama and stress free...there is no such thing with BPD and they create so much of it themselves.