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Title: This is my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked. Post by: Tobio on November 04, 2019, 07:14:05 PM Hello all. Feeling nervous as this is my first experience with a message Board and This is my first post. I’m Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked on my boundaries and got caught up in an argument with my daughter. Things had been going so well, I thought I could reach out during one of her irrational episodes. I didn’t react negatively and stayed calm but found myself Engaging- which leads to her screaming such hateful and irrational things at me. I had approached her about seeking treatment. I’m just so very tired. And so very sad. Thank you for offering a place for me to just say this and get it off my chest. I don’t want to hate my own daughter- but god does she make it hard.
Title: Re: This is my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked. Post by: formflier on November 04, 2019, 07:24:49 PM *welcome* I'm glad you have found us and I'm so sorry that you had a "backsliding" experience. Those suck! I've had more than a few. I end up kicking myself for "knowing better" yet engaging anyway. Plus there is the fallout from the dysregulation. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: I assure you that you've found a place with people that get it. Can you tell me more about your daughter? How long does it normally take for the "fallout" from the screaming to subside? Best, FF Title: Re: This is my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked. Post by: Tobio on November 04, 2019, 07:34:02 PM You’re so kind to reply! It can take a few days to a week. Though the last few months she’s been rebounding much faster. And I’ve been really good with not engaging which I think has helped shorten them. Which is why I’m so mad at myself for engaging you know?
Title: Re: This is my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked. Post by: FaithHopeLove on November 04, 2019, 08:30:48 PM Hi Tobio
I join FormFlier in welcoming you here. I too am sorry you had a backslide but that only makes you human. We all do it. No need to beat yourself up about it. Just learn from the experience and try again. Just based on your short description I would say you have a lot to be hopeful about. Keep us posted. I look forward to hearing more from you. Title: Re: This is my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked. Post by: formflier on November 04, 2019, 08:45:55 PM And I’ve been really good with not engaging which I think has helped shorten them. Not engaging is a solid strategy. Can you take a few minutes and help us understand what that actually looks like? Perhaps some I said and she said. Is there a consistent theme that comes up over and over to argue about, or does it appear to be random things? Best, FF Title: Re: This is my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked. Post by: Lollypop on November 05, 2019, 02:47:41 AM Hi tobio
I’m glad you found us. It’s baby steps, sometimes two or three backwards. That’s how we learn. Dust yourself off and walk tall. You’re doing great. Hugs LP Title: Re: This is my first post. Feeling overwhelmed and frustrated bc I backtracked. Post by: cbusmom on November 05, 2019, 08:27:30 AM I am glad you found this board. It is very helpful even if just to read and see that our relatuonship with our bpd loved one isnt unique.
I also see the results of not engaging with my DSbpd and I have also slipped and gotten sucked into engaging. |