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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: butterfly10 on November 06, 2019, 06:17:13 AM



Title: similar traights
Post by: butterfly10 on November 06, 2019, 06:17:13 AM
HI
I am (finally) learning about BP. after what seems like a lifetime of trying to figure out whats wrong with our son.    We have an adult(22) child who we have had issues with his entire life.  In reading stop walking on eggshells (recommended by a crisis councilor)
I am scared to say I identify with many of the BP thoughts character traits.
Is anyone else a (hopefully) recovered BP parent of a BP child? Any thoughts? Advise?
Thanks!  


Title: Re: similar traights
Post by: FaithHopeLove on November 06, 2019, 10:57:39 PM
Hello Butterfly
Welcome to the group. I am glad you found us. I am also happy to hear that you are learning about BPD and that it is helping you. When I first started reading up on BPD I also identified with some of the traits. A lot of them are simply part of being human albeit in exaggerated fashion. Seeing yourself in these traits does not necessarily mean you have BPD
Nonetheless you ask a great question. I am also curious about what it is like for someone who has or had BPD to parent a child with BPD. I will be watching for answers. Meanwhile what else would you like to share about your son? Has he been diagnosed with BPD? What was the crisis that led you to seek crisis counseling?


Title: Re: similar traights
Post by: Trusting-waiting on November 14, 2019, 09:06:26 PM
Interesting line of discussion! I can identify with a few traits too I had/sometimes still have intense emotions  I have struggled off an on with periods of high anxiety. I wouldn’t meet the criteria for bpd but certainly for highly sensitive person. Those traits probably were not helpful at times in raising my daughter. I was too empathic, which led me to running around with a net trying to catch her every fall. Basically I fragilized (is that a word?} her. She was socially anxious so I spoke for her. I blamed others for her pain. They must have been harsh or insensitive. Her pain was my pain. A bit co-dependent? But, in all fairness I had no idea what bpd was. Her off and on counselors said nothing. Even her residential treatment which involved a group of therapists  never diagnosed that. She was treated for an eating disorder. At that time in her life her ED wasn’t even active. I’m finally learning something about this condition. So thankful for this site!