BPDFamily.com

I have a beautiful  step daughter, 17 years of age, who is thoughtful, compassionate, giving, smart and who's smile lights up a room. This same beautiful girl is full of rage and hate. She is explosive. She is irrational and impulsive. When she doesn't get her way she sets out to destroy. She flings accusations. Accusations that could destroy with no regard who she hurts. She is the master manipulator. We love her and we fear her.

Her father and I  feel helpless and are at a loss on how to help her into adult hood. She has been in/ out of hospitalization was recently discharged from an RTF where she was in placement for 14 months. Her father and I don't feel safe having her in our home, I have another child who is only 11 and I have to protect him from this chaos.

I feel overwhelmed and alone and at a loss. How do we support her and protect our family from her.

A 

Hello A
Welcome to the group. I am glad you found us and sorry for what brings you here. Having a child or stepchild with BPD is a tough situation. We all get it! You asked specifically about how to keep your family safe. May I ask what it is you fear? Is your stepdaughter physically violent, emotionally abusive, or both? Different tactics apply to different scenarios. Please share anything at all you feel comfortable sharing. We are all here to listen and learn together.
Hugs
Faith

Welcome GoldenA. Sadly I am familiar with what you are dealing with - my beautiful, amazing daughter has had BPD for a very long time and we had no idea what we were dealing with even though she was in psychiatric care. They kept saying it was adhd. The raging is very scary - especially when it is out of control and there’s no rhyme or reason behind it. I am learning to be less sensitive to the abusive behavior but it has been really hard to handle - I’m not used to having someone screaming at me and calling me out on everything I say constantly and our encounters leave me shaken and frazzled. I started keeping a journal of her episodes and began seeing patterns to what triggered her rages. With my daughter I noticed that if she has low blood sugar from not eating or if we bring up certain subjects it sets her off. So we avoid them. I am determined to help her get into DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) to help her get under control. Your 11 year old will be able to understand if you let him know that his sister is ill and what to expect ahead of time. I’m so sorry for all you are going through. You are not alone!