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Title: NC Feels like a ticking time bomb Post by: SepiaScarf on December 03, 2019, 03:57:36 PM Hello All,
New here and was feeling anxious. I have gone NC with my uBPD mother. Actually i am really good at NC and LC until i am not and the FOG creeps up and i find myself wanting/feeling guilty of not having a better relationship with my mom. Then i open up and something happens, and she likes to use the LC as a weapon "you don't support me". This is the first time i have gone true NC, previous to this i would just be LC. I find myself ever so anxious, worried. It feels inevitable, at some point we will be in the same room, a grocery store as we only live about 30 mins from each other. I just dread that conversation so much. I have practiced with my T what to say but it's on my mind often. I have started seeing a T whom I really like and started reading Walking on Eggshells. I am finding it hard to engage with either of these activities. I just would rather not waste any more time on her or these issues. I would like to put this all in a neat little box under my bed and forget it exists. At the same time feeling like I know better than that, these issues are not truly going to just go away, they always have a way of bubbling to the surface. Did it take you time to really feel engaged in this emotional work? Title: Re: NC Feels like a ticking time bomb Post by: Harri on December 03, 2019, 04:18:13 PM Hi and welcome!
NC, LC and even full contact can all involve a lot of intense emotions. All of it is difficult to cope with. We understand that here and many of us are working through deciding what level of contact we want and some have already made that decision. Also, some of us see LC or NC as being open to changing depending on where we are in our healing. Excerpt I am finding it hard to engage with either of these activities. I just would rather not waste any more time on her or these issues. I would like to put this all in a neat little box under my bed and forget it exists. At the same time feeling like I know better than that, these issues are not truly going to just go away, they always have a way of bubbling to the surface. Can I suggest changing the focus to you and your healing and learning new ways to cope with anxiety and other difficult emotions? I believe you are right that the issues will not go away, or at least they did not for me and I tried for years. Did it take you time to really feel engaged in this emotional work? You mentioned feeling anxious at the possibility of running into your mother. I have read other members mention the same concern so you are not alone. What else are you concerned with? How can we help you? Again *welcome* |