BPDFamily.com

Many times the question is asked: Does BPD get worse with age? I was going through many years of correspondence from family members this week and came across quite a few letters from my family members with BPD. I have concluded from this experience that with aging most people with BPD are less able to cover up the BPD, as life gets harder and those around them become more aware of their problems. I also am aware that I ignored a lot of their behaviors early on, where as now I clearly see the red flags in some of the comments made. What is your experience with family members with BPD as they age?

Yes yes Zachira.   This is my experience too. I think BPD symptoms get worse with stress and change, and also with their sense of loss of control, and my observation is that those things define aging for some people.  They do for my mom and they all increase her frustration levels.

It drives me up the wall when I repeatedly read in the literature  that many people outgrow their bpd.  Not my experience with my mom at all.

Zachira,

My dBPDm has gotten worse with age. She doesn't have dementia but her cognition has declined a bit.

A few of my non-FOO relatives (older than me - 60s and older) have personality disorder-like behavior.  They too are getting worse as their options in life are getting limited and they made bad/irrational choices when they were younger.    I am older/wiser and can see red flags now or think of past incidents that should have been seen as such with these non-FOO blood relatives. I do have some normal relatives, but I have to exclude all relatives if I go NC with just a few. The dysfunctional ones have caused trouble for others if they are left out - prank calls, nasty anonymous letters/emails, etc.

I didn't get some thank you cards from the children of some normal relatives. They wanted their adult kids' location to remain anonymous for that reason.  I don't blame these adult children at all.