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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup => Topic started by: Ryder on February 14, 2020, 12:38:27 PM



Title: The rollercoaster
Post by: Ryder on February 14, 2020, 12:38:27 PM
I have been married 28 years and have always felt like I was on a rollercoaster ride. Got a diagnosis on my wife about 9 months ago. Understand where the ride comes from but hasn’t really gotten any easier. The last 5 years have been the hardest. How long does it take??? Does it ever really get better? She is trying hard and sees counselor bi weekly.


Title: Re: The rollercoaster
Post by: Harri on February 14, 2020, 03:47:41 PM
Hi.

Excerpt
How long does it take??? Does it ever really get better? She is trying hard and sees counselor bi weekly.
The time varies.  What sort of counseling is your wife getting? 

Some people do recover, with recovery being defined as getting to a point where the BPD behaviors are no longer pervasive and interfere with a persons life (very paraphrased version that I just wrote there).  The biggest indicators for a good outcome are 1. the desire to get better and 2. a good strong support system.  So yes, things can get better.

What sort of challenges are you facing?  Is there a particular behavior that is more challenging than others? 



Title: Re: The rollercoaster
Post by: Ryder on February 14, 2020, 10:44:23 PM
Well she had an affair 4 years ago and developed from that a desire to talk to other men when we aren’t getting alone so they will make her feel good. Very low self esteem and she is going through a serious identity crises. When they talk about the hero to zero, that is our relationship.

She is getting some debt through her counselor, and it helps but the progress is so slow I don’t know how much longer I can continue being hurt. :((