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Title: PTSD as a result of spouse with BPD Post by: ConfusedandDazed on February 16, 2020, 07:33:14 AM Hi all-
New to this. I suspect my spouse of the last eight years has BPD. Last therapist seemed to think this was the case. Because of the verbal bashings and threatening to hurt my loved ones “if he loses his mind” - the repeated degrading and insults, the attempts to control me and putting me in no-win situations - I’ve developed actual physical reactions when he’s raging. It when the first calls come in, or the first fifty text messages...I get an immediate pounding at the temples, burning sensation in my neck and arms, severe anxiety, confusion, feelings of hopelessness and panic. Does this happen to many partners? Does it get better? Can it? Title: Re: PTSD as a result of spouse with BPD Post by: khibomsis on February 17, 2020, 11:21:18 AM :hi:, Confused and Dazed, and welcome to the family! It is really hard to be the spouse of a person with BPD sometimes, and it is certainly true that when conflict levels are high we too will suffer from some form of PTSD. I don't think they themselves know quite how violent they come across, but your description of being at the other end of dysregulation sounds pretty accurate.
There are many things you can do to make it easier for yourself. You do not have to be around dysregulation, you can walk away, not answer the phone, not check your texts, etc. I often practice self-soothing even in the midst of a dysregulation by meditative chanting, it helps to regulate my breathing and heartbeat, and prevents an extreme response on my side. Also burning incense or dabbing myself with calming essential oils like chamomile and lavender. A little sneaky this, because it will calm your spouse down if he is within sniffing distance :) Best of all is to reduce the conflict. Could you tell us more about your situation? The more you post the better we can help figure out the best way. :hug: Khib |