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Title: Need help or a hug or both :( Post by: butterfly10 on March 16, 2020, 05:26:19 PM Im yet again hurt and feeling scared and desperate.
Ill try to summerize 22 year old son scholarships to college, completed 2.5 years~ then started drifting... got an emergency call from a girlfriend that she was bringing him home bc he couldnt live there(shared college apartment) any more that was a year ago... over the summer there was a mental institution stay, and jail for assaulting my husband/his dad. we finally made him leave our home in October. He has since been floating between a girlfriends dads apartment, and our home ( where we live with 3 young children) It is a continuous source of stress and anxiety for me when he shows up to stay here( and lay on the couch) I am so torn and broken wanting to love him enough so he will heal and get better, and protecting myself and the household from his fits, rages, behavior, disruption. He claims he had an abusive childhood, and that we are all really horrible. I just cant even breathe anymore Title: Re: Need help or a hug or both :( Post by: PeaceMom on March 16, 2020, 10:44:23 PM Butterfly,
Welcome to this very helpful website. I’m so sorry for what you are going thru with your son. I know how disappointing it is when they start off strong, full of promise in college, then fall apart. My son did the same as he struggled w/MH issues and SUD (substance use disorder). He has stopped and started college 5 different times. He finally got an Assiciates Degree and is back in pursuing his Bachelors. I’m sending you a big ((HUG) as I understand what you are describing. He had 2 younger siblings here and it was very scary for us all. He suffers from BiPolar disorder, but has several BPD behaviors, too. I credit my T (therapist) at the time for her frankness with me in explaining that as a parent my obligation was keeping the younger kids (under 18 ) safe. Do you have any support such as a therapist, support group, etc? Is your son able to work, see a T, volunteer? Title: Re: Need help or a hug or both :( Post by: Swimmy55 on March 17, 2020, 05:05:59 PM I agree with Peacemom and I hear you , Butterfly. If you click onto my name , you will see my previous posts.
Briefly , my my then 25 year old BPD son did manage to graduate college, moved back home and downward spiraled for 2 years. Could not keep jobs due to explosive episodes, substance abuse, verbal and psychological abuse towards me. I gave him boundaries, he broke through. The final last straw was he had to get therapy or I had to start eviction due to the fact he became violent with me. I can't/won't tolerate physical abuse, and he knew that. His response was to destroy parts of my home. I , too , had no choice but to get 2 things for him- an emergency psych hold and a restraining order . Take it from Peacemom and me: You are obligated to keep underage children safe ,as well as keeping yourself safe. Please write back to us as you are able. |