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Lately, I find myself thinking about my uBPDexgf and her 2 little girls. I wonder if they are okay. My ex was diagnosed w/cancer snd broke up with me 10 seconds later in Late October after our 2.5 yr relationship. I sometimes worry if she gets sick b/c she is post double-masectomy and last I knew she needed chemo. We havent spoken in 3 months (i stopped calling b/c she was taking everything out on me or taking me for granted.)

I know I cant initiate contact with her b/c she would blame me for the breakup in crazy ways(almost like i was supposed to beg her for her love back and how wrong I was).

But this virus stuff makes me think about time.

Do you think about your ex more? How do you deal with it?

The way I felt my life was hijacked was virus like, except it was far more of an ordeal than 2 weeks of some cough and fever to shake off, am I saying I view the relationship as same as getting infected by corona? Nope, I'm saying the relationship was exponentially worse than if I had.

I couldn't care less if she gets infected. I hope she doesn't as much as I hope no one does, but there is no overt worry or specialised concern for her that would have existed before.

That was a good idea because you don't need negative energy at a time like this. Take really good care of yourself, keep your self hydrated, eat well, sleep well, meditate.

I'm sorry to hear how it went down with your ex her current health condition.


As you probably know about social distancing, I've been doing social media distancing and distancing from mainstream news well because it's about ratings and website hits for them. I don't to need to hear about it every 5 minutes and I think that the worst part of all of this is the emotional contagion. I think the best thing to do is to distance yourself from the fear and anxiety that stems from news sources and others and focus on your emotional well-being. It's good to be informative but I get the information from medically accreditated information. For me the canadian government has a good source of information https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/diseases/2019-novel-coronavirus-infection/canadas-reponse.html?&utm_campaign=gc-hc-sc-coronavirusoutbreak-1920-0165-9221800776&utm_medium=search&utm_source=google-ads-96470960074&utm_content=text-en-415799325995&utm_term=%2Bcoronavirus Use your governments's website.

For example if you get an invasive thought you can picture a powerful image in your mind, it can be anything positive. For example, if I get an invasive thought of the coronavirus I think of the ocean and I immediately feel relief and I feel calmer. I have a wallpaper image on my phone that helps me. I use this.

(https://i.ibb.co/GsZfFfT/IMG-6789.jpg) (https://ibb.co/tZ0w3wX)
upload pic (https://imgbb.com/)

you might be surprised to know that there are a lot of people that feel this way. the feeling (and acting on it) have produced a lot of articles that have caught my eye.

here is one: https://www.thecut.com/2020/03/why-are-people-texting-their-exes-during-coronavirus.html

I'm in a unique situation in that my exwBPD is in isolation right now due to her boss coming down with Coronavirus.  That's means a radical change in plans with visitation.  As she also has a history of health issues (scarring from a gastric bypass surgery, thyroid issues severe enough to get it removed and a few others), there's a non-trivial chance of her getting really sick.  I care inasmuch as it would devastate my daughter to see her mom sick like that.  Past that point?  Eh?  I'm a well wisher in that I wish her no specific harm. 

I will say as a broader point that this whole crisis is making people rethink relationships.  Either your relationship is going to be unassailable or go down like the Titanic after this.

Same here. I pray for his protection and welfare, but I have no more responsibility than that. He lives far away.

I do volunteer work with abused women, and needless to say, this is a VERY difficult time for those who are living with disordered people. I can't imagine what it would be like for me if we were still together. The homeless shelters and abused women shelters are jam-packed and struggling.

I am also friends with a divorce attorney that I met in a class I just finished up (she's not my attorney). Her comment was that, of course, she's not very busy right now because of all of the cancelled and deferred court dates. But once all the restrictions are lifted -- they are expecting a flood of work as people decide that they've had enough. She's trying to keep her other cases going, and a few are near settlement. So she's hoping to get those done since the judges are still working here but are not holding trials.