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Title: Tired Post by: Coffeeforlife on March 23, 2020, 08:46:02 PM My mother, one of my brothers and my daughter all have been diagnosed with bpd. I have read everything I can get my hands on, practiced self care and still feel overwhelmed and unappreciated. My experience lately is disheartening when their emotions are running so high during every conversation and Hearing how they talk behind my back hurts me so much. I have similar experiences with all of them and I am feeling very depressed lately because it is so draining and makes me sad and hopeless.
Title: Re: Tired Post by: Huat on March 24, 2020, 11:41:40 AM Hi Coffeeforlife….and welcome :hi:
Wow! You certainly are surrounded with more than your share of BPD'ers….not just 1 but 3. So, so sorry this is life for you. I can see how disheartening it is to have them talk about you behind your back. Do you hear about that from one of the three or from others who are wanting to keep you updated? Unless the news is urgent...your safety at risk...maybe the less you know of gossip the better...and you can convey that to the messenger. As with all of us here, work on positive change has to start with us...no magic bullet...no immediate turn-arounds in these difficult people who share our lives. You, Coffeeforlife, have certainly made a good start by stepping into this community of parents who share similar problems. So, while you have no control over what those 3 do, you do have control over how you react/respond. Quite possibly, if you make an unexpected change in how you do that...they change, too. There is a wealth of information on this website with links to more. You can share as much or as little as you want when you post. No matter what you write, there will be some heads out there nodding...someone to answer you post letting you know..."me too!"...sometimes sharing what has worked or not worded for them. No judging here but lots of support as we help each other towards better tomorrows. Once again, welcome. Hope you keep sharing. We are all now in extra-ordinary stressful times...needing some kind of outlet to let off some steam...and this a good place to do it. Huat Title: Re: Tired Post by: Swimmy55 on March 25, 2020, 11:32:44 AM Hi Coffee,
Ditto to what Haut said. Don't despair, there are a few of us here who have more than one BPD in the family. I am in the club too. Take your energy and refocus it on you. Distance yourself from some ( all ) as you can and as needed, because it is not possible to give the same amount of energy and attention to all of them at the same time. "What others think of me is none of my business" and "detach" are my mantras. |