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Title: Regrets Post by: Senior on April 06, 2020, 01:19:07 PM Been married 48 yrs. roller coaster. Good guy/bad guy. No middle road. Regret not leaving. Acceptance that I was weak and co dependent. Partner shunned attempts to resolve difficulties. Sucked in by a really nice guy. Then blamed totally for everything that’s gone wrong in marriage. No middle road. Anyone been in this position for so long. If so how did you cope . Thanks folks.
Title: Re: Regrets Post by: Face of Melinda on April 06, 2020, 11:23:23 PM Hello! Welcome to this group! Well I'm 15 years and 2 children in to this marriage... So you've got triple the experience that I do! Definitely read the "lessons" part of this site... That's been helping me a lot. How do I cope? Well I really try to build my life apart from my spouse... We spend a lot of time apart and reconnect for about two hours in the evening, most nights. I try to balance being true to myself with also being sensitive to his neediness. I love him but I also cycle with him between loving him and having hope things could get better to feeling things are unbearable and I need to get away... Actually the second part of the cycle gets more and more frequent. I did "train" him not to rage at me by setting boundaries but Ive never had success with getting him to be a team- player with me and I often wonder what life would be like if I were with someone with a capacity for dialogue, predictability, and nurturing... Don't blame yourself. You married for better or for worse. Tell us more about your story.
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