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Title: Wow moments every day Post by: start_again on July 09, 2020, 03:56:24 PM My wife of 26 years one moment is a great person to be around and the next moment is verbally abusing me by calling me names and making up stories about something I never did. The strange thing is she accuses me of doing the exact thing that she is doing. Sometimes I don't even know what she is talking about.
My wife has the ability to read my mind she consistently tells me what I am thinking and based upon that attacks me. When I try to explain she then tells me not to go on the defensive. A voice i have that can't be heard. As soon as we get close and have open conversation she uses the conversation against me. Then she accuses me of not telling her my feelings and when I try to tell her how I feel she interrupts me in mid sentence. This morning she made me breakfast and as soon as I sat down she started to call me a piece of crap. Any joy I might have she rips it right out of me. I am a sucker I think it will be different or go along with it and then I get hammered. Title: Re: Wow moments every day Post by: formflier on July 09, 2020, 08:24:53 PM *welcome* I'm so glad you found us! It seems like you can use some guidance about how to deal with these unwarranted attacks. How did you find this site? https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship Can you read the above article? How long has this been going on in your relationship? We can help! You've found a safe place! Best, FF Title: Re: Wow moments every day Post by: start_again on July 10, 2020, 05:57:20 AM I'm so glad you found us! It seems like you can use some guidance about how to deal with these unwarranted attacks.
How did you find this site? I read the book stop walking on egg shells and found the site in the book. Right on the mark with the behaviors. https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/what-does-it-take-be-relationship Can you read the above article? I did read the article - that emotional support is important. Hard to read and think through my situation as I read. How long has this been going on in your relationship? The behaviors were always there I just was blind to it while we were dating. As soon as we were married the the next phase if you will took off. Would you believe on our wedding day I was accused of staring at women and got the silent treatment. Twenty six years later I am now a total piece of crap in her eyes, never did a thing in my life. Most of the time I don't even know what she is talking about. She was a stay at home mom and home schooled the kids and I provided for the family. The accusations that I never did anything for the family is hard to hear. We can help! You've found a safe place! I like a safe place, do you know what it is like to brought to your knees - pleading crying to have the verbal abuse stop. Well I can go on and on... I have been to counselling and have a support network of friends and a support group (AA sober 28 + years). I don't plead and beg her to stop anymore, I leave and let her chase me out of the room or house without responding to her. I made this change about four years ago. It is always nice to know I am not alone. |