BPDFamily.com

 :help:
One child in state's custody and my daughter is about to have another one.   This new baby does not need to go home from hospital with mother.  I have alerted CPS.  what else can I do?  My daughter will not talk to me.

Oh Rains!  I'm welcoming you with a much-need hug! :hug:

What a difficult situation for you!  Well...difficult...but...you are doing the right thing in thinking of the welfare of this soon-to-be-born child...your grandchild.

You are needing all the support you can get and I hope you keep reaching out and will find much support here.  While all our stories are unique to us, time after time someone will chime in and say they walk in similar shoes.

Know that you can post here 24/7 telling as much or as little as is in your comfort zone to tell. 

Here is a bigger ((HUG) from one Grandmother to another.  My heart goes out to you. :heart:

Huat

Thank you for the hugs.  Right now is very difficult and it is hard to find someone who truly understands. 

Hello again Rains

For you to see one of your grandchildren go into state custody and then find your daughter is having yet another child is such a a heartbreaking story!  No grandmother should have to face a situation like yours.   I can only imagine how difficult it was for you to make the decision to alert Child Protection Services.   You truly were between a rock and a hard place but the welfare of that baby had to take precedence over your daughter.   You did the right thing!

You write..."it is very difficult and hard to find someone who truly understands"...let me tell you I do understand.   No one in my circle of friends...my family...walked in my shoes.  More often than not when I would break down and tell my story, I would be met with silence.  Although I knew there wasn't anything anyone could do to change what was happening with my daughter, I so needed someone to let me know I was being heard and acknowledge my pain.  I hear you and I acknowledge your pain.

I so hope you continue on here, Rains.  Support in your journey is what you need and you will find that support here.  For me, just putting my fingers on the keyboard...pouring out my heart and my hurts...made a difference. 

Huat :heart:

 

Thank you for replying.  Yes, even though people try to show that they care and are supportive of me, it is clear that they do not really know how to respond.  My heart is absolutely breaking and I try not to show that even though I guess it is evident.  I tend to be an expressive person.  Everything shows on my face.  I am trying to get custody of my granddaughter which is why my daughter will not speak to me.  My daughter's solution for this situation is obviously to just have another child and prove that she will not be told by anyone how to care for her children.  My granddaughter was starved nearly to death and isolated from any outside interaction other than my husband and myself.  We do not live close so we would visit every 3 or 4 months.  My granddaughter was not allowed to have friends or go to school.  She is socially and emotionally behind.  Now the granddaughter is even worried about the new baby.  It is a total mess, and the people involved in this situation seem to be clueless(DSS, etc).

Hi Rains

You are right, for the most part people just don't know how to respond when hearing of our kind of problems.   To add insult to injury, their silence can be embarrassing. 

For what it is worth, you are not the first grandparent who has posted in this forum about either seeking custody of their grandchildren...or are already looking after them.  You are looking to take on a big responsibility...and I would do the same.  I hope for your granddaughter's sake you are successful.

As I have written before, hope you carry on here.   For me stumbling upon this forum a few years back was literally a life-saver.  I was in a dark place...my life...my happiness pivoted on my relationship with my troubled daughter.   While my situation has not turned out anywhere near the way I would have wanted, I am learning to be okay with it.   Life is good (well...most days).   

Huat  ; )

So now, my daughter is being allowed to have unsupervised visits with my granddaughter which seems to indicate that there is a strong possibility the court will allow her to return home.  I really do not understand the logic.  My daughter is obviously not taking meds because she is about to have another baby and is not required to complete inpatient treatment because there is no facility where she lives.  So she is all of a sudden "magically" cured after 8 years of being unable to care for this child properly?  I am so scared for this child and the new baby but no one in authority seems to get it.  I am feeling so defeated.