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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD => Topic started by: GrahamMayme on September 03, 2020, 03:02:25 PM



Title: Need help
Post by: GrahamMayme on September 03, 2020, 03:02:25 PM
Dear BP support,
My oldest daughter and my only niece have borderline personality disorder, as well as my mother-in-law,( who  had it for many years but she is now cured of it at the age of 95).
 My former daughter-in-law has it and she is the reason why I am seeking help. After my son M and his BP wife A had their first baby, my BP  daughter-in-law A completely went haywire and took the baby, kicked my son out, and moved in with her parents  in PA,( while my son stayed with us in VA),when the baby was less than three weeks old. We did not know what was ahead and made the mistake of taking BP A  to court to get custody of the baby. What followed then was our greatest nightmare including a bogus restraining order against my son and many lies and slander told to the lawyers by my former daughter-in-law. As a result, my son only got one week a month with the baby which continues now almost 2 years later. We want to take my son’s former wife A,(as she served  my son M divorce papers back in March), back to court so that M gets more custody of his daughter. (A denies my son all FaceTime or contact with the baby in between visits. She is extremely unstable.) My former daughter-in-law threatened to drop the baby on the ground when the baby was just a couple days old so I know that her parents are helping her.
Today I’m reaching out to you my BP support community bc I’m trying to get a hold of the three CD series called you are my world a non-Borderline Personality Guide to Custody. I can’t find these CDs anywhere. Thank you!


Title: Re: Need help
Post by: missing NC on September 11, 2020, 11:58:42 AM
Hello,

I would not be suprised if the CDs were not longer around as information, especially in the realm of family law, changes rapidly enough to make them obsolete rather quickly. 

Has your son read Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline Or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy and Randi Kreger?  Both of the authors also have (not inexpensive) consultations available. 

I presume your son is documenting everything including his attempts to facetime his daughter and the rebuffs of contact.  Based on my BPD sister's horrific abuse of my brother-in-law (and by extension their children) in the family law/custody realm, I would strongly advise making the request for additional parenting time as collaborative and nonadversarial as possible.  I'm reading one of Bill Eddy's other books (It's All Your Fault!: 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything) now and finding his contention that high conflict individuals simply cannot handle any negative feedback all too true. 

You and your son are in a really difficult position.  I wish you both strength and forebearance as you navigate the years ahead.