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Title: Insta-FOG. Post by: Goosey on September 13, 2020, 10:17:59 AM I assume what I am feeling is defined as FOG.
Divorcing, live separated, no contact virtually. Only time I receive any email (blocked all other) is about her lack of money. (Welcome to the club). Yesterday get an email which states basically she is being evicted, can’t pay daughters car or insurance and her car is being repossessed. Of course it ends by accusing me of being a hateful monster. Now I offered six weeks ago to assume the loan on daughters car and handle the insurance and for That got a scathing voicemail in return calling me a (oh the usual). So I do nothing all day but be angry, worried, think of ways to get her money which will be offset on final settlement... around and around in my head. I don’t want her on the streets. I don’t want her with me. Fog. I want to help a person who absolutely loathes me. A person who has destroyed me for years. So I sent email today offering again to take over car responsibilities. Of course I doubt she will respond. So I waste two days in knots and she is probably .. A-lying B- Fine C- enjoying the day without a care in the world. I got to stop being such a sucker. Title: Re: Insta-FOG. Post by: livednlearned on September 13, 2020, 11:36:05 AM You gotta be kinder to yourself :hug:
It takes tiny little steps, one thing at a time. You are moderating email from her. That's a :check: In other posts you recognize that she will be ok -- she's good at landing on her feet. You have self-awareness and understand FOG and how it works in you. You're doing great, Goosey. It is surprisingly painful to put yourself first, to be kind to yourself. That pain was far worse than anything a pwBPD did to me. It's a much more vulnerable pain, and people who have been chronically hurt don't like to feel vulnerable. One step at a time |iiii |