BPDFamily.com

Right now this is kind of a hypothetical question, but I'm wondering about it for future reference.  Currently my BPD exH has our D6 every other weekend.  In the past we have swapped weekends here and there for things that come up, but I just asked him about swapping totally so that he has my current weekends and I get his.  He has the three holidays coming up with our D6 and they all fall on my weekend so I thought it would make sense to flip flop so they land on his weekend.  It also would help me because my current boyfriend sees his son on the same weekend my ex has my daughter and it would be nice to get them on the same schedule, but I left that part out when talking to my ex.

He said no, because he gets paid the weekends he has her...though why he can't just put money aside from payday for when he has her is beyond me.  But his reasoning isn't because he can't switch because of work or anything like that. 

My boyfriend and I have talked moving in together, and marriage...so when that happens, his son would obviously be staying at my (our) house for his weekends, but since we're on opposit schedules he would only be here on the weekends my daughter is with her dad.  Obviously this isn't my ex's problem, but it is in the best interest for my daughter to be able to get to know her stepbrother and spend time with him and for us all to be together as a family in the future.

So I am wondering if there is anything according to the law that would say my daughter is entitled to be able to be home when her stepbrother is here, that would require my ex to switch weekends if at all possible (which it is, he just doesn't want to).  My boyfriend's ex also has kids from a previous marriage, so being that my ex is the only one who doesn't have a S/O and their kids to deal with, he is the obvious choice to make the switch. 

Thanks!

In my state, getting married would be a "material change" which can be used to request a change to custody.  You could go back to court, and a judge would most likely rule in your favor, as you don't want to take time away from your ex, just change when the time is.  You'd have to ask your L if living together would be the same kind of material change.

You may also have better luck if you ask your ex after this string of holidays is over - when it's not asking him to give up the extra time the schedule granted him.

Awesome, thank you!  I was kind of taking a shot in the dark, I had no idea the concept of a material change existed.  I'll research the laws in my state for when the time comes.  Thanks!