BPDFamily.com

It has changed me.  Changes were starting to come anyway but slowly.  The virus sped things up more than I thought possible.  I found myself thinking "Oh, my.  I am sixty.  I have no time left for overly distorted people anymore."  I am trying to figure out what I want for the rest of my life and who I will allow into it.

I suppose I could call my relationship with my sister a covid casualty.  Because of it I had a lot of time to think about how I want my life and then when she pulled her latest stunt the glaring difference between how I want my life and how it actually is with her it...well...it is not okay by me.  I won't have it in my life and she can't or won't change.  I am lucky though.  She is going to pout to her grave so not much chance of any interaction between us.  I can just get on the bus Gus and set myself free.

So, I sort of buried a sister but I got something  a lot sooner than I would have had the virus not given me so much time to think.  How about you?

I also took a hard look and re evaluated my uBPDm's behavior and the effect it had on me and my dysfunctional family. Lifting the veil on the rampant dysfunction was not pretty. But needed to be done. And creating a more loving and peaceful life now by focusing on those relationships that bring me joy. The sad part for me was realizing that my FOO is unhealthy for me. I do have an elderly Mom so feel some sense of responsibility to maintain LC, but in her world, it's black and white and all or nothing. But the struggle is a bit easier since Covid, as it really drives home what is important, and that life is precious.

The pandemic has also helped me to get my priorities straight. I appreciate what I have and don't want to waste any more time with abusive people. There are many fine kind people in this world.