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With Clint Eastwood being my favorite actor, I finally watched this film. For some reason I was expecting it to be about a serial killer. I am not sure where I got that idea, but that was not at all what the film was about.

The main character, Evelyn, prompted memories of my ex, mainly her desperation to be loved, her neediness, her obsession with him, and the way she grabs him and doesn't ever want to let him go. It was a great movie, but I found myself feeling profound sadness at the end.

That could almost apply to my relationship with a pwBPD, except I no longer feel like it was great. And if profound sadness includes profound anger.

I haven’t seen this movie. Did it bring up sadness for her and her struggles? Or sadness for you as far as missing her and/or grieving the relationship?

I think both. At first, she (Evelyn the main character) was this intoxicating beauty who had that adorable charm that I saw in my BPD exgf - something that made me want to scoop her up and never let her go. As the movie continued on, she got uglier as her true nature was exposed.

After my relationship I realized I am one of those fools who is an empath or some such - prone to codependency. It stems from my childhood raised by a mother who had some sort of Cluster B disorder, and who was an alcoholic, and an older sister who is a full blown narcissist and another older sister who is another Cluster B type. I had a younger sister who was neither but suffered from depression and who I protected.

Anyway, this movie brought me back to my exgf who I hadn't been thinking of a whole lot lately. I went to bed with that incredible sadness I haven't felt in a while. I have not dated since she left me. I sometimes think I never will again. It was too painful an experience.

Hi CrushedAgain,

its been nearly a week since, how do you feel at the moment?

ive seen the film a few years ago, this post was the first reminder of it in that time, I remember two parts that I felt emotional about, where she got out the car and dysregulated I think the first time against Clint, her facial expression the eyes the contortion of the face. the film doesnt explicity make it a BPD thing, but the semblance of it was such an overlap for me. The end of the film was a little bit sad, but also confusing, probably because im used to Clint dealing with non-emotionally involved characters and here it is a bit complex, hard to know what feelings he has for her, it was violent struggle on her part but he sort of dealt with it in a detached, nonchalant way, and her fall from the cliffs was "closure" of a different form. or was it closure, I could be very much mistaken. thanks for sharing. 

Hey Cromwell. I am over that brief bout of sadness from the movie, but I'll be honest in that I am looking forward to the calendar turning to January 1st. This has been an awful year in many ways.

I thought it was a great movie, and one I'd probably watch again if it weren't for the fact that the main character reminds me too much of my ex.

I was thinking of the scene where she shows up at his house uninvited for the first time, with groceries, etc., and he tells her that she can't just show up, that he has to call her and invite her first. It reminded me of how my BPDex invited herself to start living with me. At first I pushed back, and I was really startled by it. I had to tell her that it's a decision that would include both of us. But when I did, the look on her face was one where she might cry. But she was adorable, and I loved her, and I couldn't say no. She seemed so innocent at times.

Crushedagain. Hi

Hey Cromwell. I am over that brief bout of sadness from the movie, but I'll be honest in that I am looking forward to the calendar turning to January 1st.

im a bit excited for the "unknown" and to see how things change.

for some reason I can recall the scenery and the era is one that I like, 1970s, the fashion and the American cars. Ive never been to the states but if I did and knew it was only once and never return, Id want to travel the route 66, any films that depict that region are so scenic. It is more than likely why this film did not get so heavily an emotional "bpd" hit about it - the location is too out of equilibrium from my own. Also, I notice if I rewatch films from distinct time periods, they dont hold that level of connection and immersion they once did. especially when it comes to characters using say, dial phones, or first generation mobile phones late 80s, early to mid 90s) examples. I lived through that era and could relate to it back then, but these props really stand out as the years go on and live in these modern times. so the film gets a bit diluted that way. I also watched this at a time where I was just out of the relationship no contact and saw it as a "bpd film", I havent watched it since but I wouldnt call it anything BPD, except for the association with a few scenes of how Evelyn got rageful, but thats it mostly.