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Title: Six years later Post by: parisian on January 17, 2021, 06:23:12 AM It was around six years ago, I broke up with my ex, who had BPD.
I was due to catch up with them one night, and felt sick to my stomach (I later learned that feeling was anxiety). I remember thinking that 'love isn't supposed to make you feel sick'. So I called off our 2 year relationship. It was a long, slow and awful recovery. I had PTSD. I almost committed suicide. I saw a psych for the first time in my life. It took around 3 years to heal. I used the pain to go on and achieve remarkable Post-Traumatic growth. Remarkable. At the time, it was the worst situation I'd ever been through in my life. Looking back only 6 years ago, dealing with that situation made me become the better person that I am today. I'm actually grateful for going through the experience (not actually for the experience itself- I wouldn't wish that on anyone). Not only did it make me become a better person, make massive goals (and achieve them), I learnt to set much better boundaries with everyone and I met my new partner who is the kindest, nicest, funniest, loving, caring person. I hope that was some kind of universe 'Karma' for going through the bpd situation and learning. I also developed a new superpower which is that I can 'smell' bpd 100 klms away. (Okay, of course I can't smell it). But I'm incredibly sensitive and hyperaware to those behaviours now, and can pick them up from people's writing, the way they interact, etc online and in my little community group. I try and stay as far away from that as possible now. For everyone on this board, I hear and feel your pain. I wrung my heart inside out. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I almost died at my own hand to stop the pain. But I made it through and I'm glad I lived to say that. Keep going, you'll make it through, too, and in six years time you'll look back and I hope you get to say the same things.. xx Title: Re: Six years later Post by: BPDsysiphus on January 31, 2021, 12:35:40 PM Glad to hear someone made it through and there's indeed a light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks for sharing. Title: Re: Six years later Post by: siochain on January 31, 2021, 04:40:19 PM parisian,
I like to reread what you wrote when I need some encouragement. Thank you Title: Re: Six years later Post by: swisco on February 04, 2021, 02:22:46 AM Thanks for sharing this.
This can, and should, be the light of the end of the tunnel many of us are in right now. Title: Re: Six years later Post by: MariannaR on February 04, 2021, 12:13:35 PM Thanks for sharing this. I am about 3 months into no contact, and it seems like it will never get better. I take one step forward, and two steps really far back. On the worst days it seems like there is no point in continuing. It's so encouraging to hear your story!
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