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Title: Brand new here Post by: Merrilee on February 08, 2021, 02:00:55 PM Just discovered that BPD traits are very common characteristics of my husband. Thought it was called so many other things. Likely part of undiagnosed trauma / toxic parenting. I want us to be healthy, happy individuals and be better together in the marriage and for our two young children who can clearly see on a daily basis what splitting and toxic reactions are doing to their mom and dad. I’m a little overwhelmed on even where to start looking / asking for support.. validation, hope for my self, husband and family. Does anyone have any GOOD stories.. even if it had to get harder / more painful before it got better.. and has stayed better for them ..?
Title: Re: Brand new here Post by: Cat Familiar on February 08, 2021, 09:59:08 PM My relationship is profoundly better, and all because of what I have learned here.
It’s much more hopeful if your partner has traits, rather than fullblown BPD, but in any case, what you can learn will make things better since you will stop making things worse. People with BPD are very emotional thinkers and many of their partners are rational thinkers. We mistakenly believe that if we can communicate well enough, we can fix things. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Our partners want validation. This doesn’t mean agreeing with them, rather it means understanding how they view the world. That’s a good place to start. https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-dont-be-invalidating And here’s a video on the same topic: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=206132 |