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Title: Am just admitting there’s a problem and it’s taken me a lot to get to this point Post by: Almoststillsane on February 22, 2021, 12:52:04 AM Hi everyone- I’m glad I found you. This is my first scary post having to admit to myself there is a mental health problem with my adult child which I have not seen as clearly as I do now. It has taken some really big messy chaotic situations caused by this strange and confusing disorder to finally make me realise it’s not me. For decades I have turned myself into a pretzel trying to do better, be a better mum and be everything she needs. She is an emotional sponge and I can never win it seems. I am wrung out. My stepson died recently and my relationship with her sister is in tatters - I am barely functioning at my full capacity.
But today I had a breakthrough with her - I saw her acting out in ways I can no longer accept as ok - and I didn’t get hooked into her drama. I stayed as an anchor - firm & loving . I nipped the drama in the bud. Tonight we are having dinner together and I am praying I can maintain this level of presence. I need to establish some ongoing contact so I can hopefully trigger in her the desire to get some good help for herself. I know full well this is her decision and out of my control. I am hoping to learn from you all and also to give support. I want to feel connected to people who understand this experience so I feel less alone in it. Thank you . Title: Re: Am just admitting there’s a problem and it’s taken me a lot to get to this point Post by: PearlsBefore on February 22, 2021, 01:18:42 AM :hi:
Welcome to BPDforums, glad to meet you, sorry you're here... You're definitely not alone. If we as a forum seem that way sometimes, it's simply that we aren't sure whether each newcomer is specifically looking for "advice" or just to know a dozen of us read their story, or sympathy, or what...so feel free to be blunt if we're misreading you. Does she have another parent in the picture so she splits one of you into "bad" and the other "good", or are you all there is and you end up serving as both hero and enemy? I infer she's in the 25-40 range and at least currently unmarried but not living near you? Glad to hear that you not only flexed some backbone today, but that it sounds like it went really well; I hope dinner was at least decent. |