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Title: Can anyone help? From Hero to Villain Post by: Lee T on April 19, 2021, 05:08:18 AM Hi all,
I'm a 46 year old guy who has recently split from someone suffering with BPD. She was the absolute love of my life, yet, sadly, when push came to shove, she chose to end the relationship with me due to her inability to compromise in order for us to create a happy living environment. Ironically, cats. She owns three enormous Maincoons (google them, you'll not believe what massive beats they are) and I simply couldn't accommodate all of them, but was willing to live with one, possibly two even though they drove me mad. I guess fault lies on both parties for what some may interpret as trivialities? So, since being painted black for some two months, I've read books on BPD and reached out to the online BPD community to try understand / heal / win her back. Every attempt I've made to try and reach to her has been met with anger and dismissal. We were engaged, and I can honestly say that the three and a half years I spent with her made my happier than I have ever been. Can somebody please try and help me understand why one minute I am her hero, only for the next minute to be completely devalued and ignored the next? I know it is textbook of the BPD, but the pain I feel is so all consuming that I'm experiencing some very dark thoughts, drink at dangerous levels (simply to pass out) and and fear for my long term well-being. If anyone can offer some crumb of comfort, to help me unfathom why the BPD sufferer can literally close down on someone that claimed to have loved you, almost idolised, you will really help me. I feel like a boxer who just keeps getting knocked over, yet finds the strength to get back on their feet, only to receive more punishment. Thank you for reading. Best wishes. Lee. |